The 9 Wedding Social Media Etiquette Rules All Couples Should Follow

#3 is an absolute must.
sarah hanlon associate editor the knot
by Sarah Hanlon
sarah hanlon associate editor the knot
Sarah Hanlon
Associate Editor
  • Sarah is an Associate Digital Editor for The Knot, with special focuses in fashion, pop culture and wedding trends.
  • Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Sarah was a contributing writer for Bravo at NBC Universal.
  • Sarah has a degree in journalism and resides in New York City.
Updated Aug 25, 2021
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We don't blame you if you want to post all about your wedding online from the moment you get engaged. (And if you need an engagement caption, a bach party caption or a wedding day caption, we've got you covered.) Getting married to the love of your life is a big deal, and it certainly deserves to be celebrated on the internet—plus, we know you need a good excuse to show off those engagement photos and wedding pictures. But in the modern virtual age of Instagram Stories, photo dumps and boomerangs, there are a few social media rules to keep in mind. While we definitely encourage posting to your heart's desire on your feeds, there is such a thing as modern-day social media wedding etiquette. Not to worry: Below, we break down the nine rules you need to know when it comes to posting about your wedding on social media. With these etiquette tips in mind, you can rest assured that your posting skills are in top shape (and will get plenty of likes too).

1. Tell VIPs Your Engagement News Before Posting Online

Consider this the golden rule of social media wedding etiquette: It's crucial to tell your loved ones about your engagement news before spreading the word online. Put yourself in the shoes of a close cousin or a best friend—finding out about their engagement through an Instagram Story or Facebook post might hurt your feelings. And while we definitely encourage couples to shout the happy news from the rooftops, it's still important to make sure your VIPs hear it directly from you first.

Once you and your S.O. have soaked up that "just engaged' bliss, think about how you want to tell your family and friends. While sharing the news in person is ideal, it might not be feasible right away, especially if you live far apart. Though you can send a text or phone call, a FaceTime or video chat will make your announcement that much more special. (Plus, a video announcement will ensure they get to see your brand new jewelry too). Regardless of how you share the news, just make sure your nearest and dearest hear it from you first, and not through the digital grapevine. They'll be so happy to talk to you, and doing so will avoid any hurt feelings. Then, once the news has been spread to your VIPs, go ahead post all the ring selfies and bended-knee pics on the 'gram.

2. Refrain From Oversharing Ring Details

One thing to exclude from your online engagement announcement are any sensitive details about your ring, like the cost or the carat size. This information is highly sensitive, and your partner might not want it spread on the internet. Plus, being too candid about the price of your ring may come across as insensitive or presumptuous. As with all information posted online, some details are better kept private—and this is definitely true in regard to your engagement and wedding ring details.

3. Prioritize Your Mental Health

Being on social media can feel overwhelming, especially as you plan your wedding. Having an active online presence may cause you to experience inspiration overload—when you're constantly scrolling, it's easy to keep adding ideas and tasks to your to-do list, which will only create more stress in the long run. (This is especially true if you find yourself constantly taking notes of ideas you love from people you follow, or comparing your own wedding to others'.) But, beyond that, being online in the weeks leading up to your wedding can take a toll on your mental health.

In fact, experts point out that being constantly exposed to the internet—especially around holidays like New Year's—can negatively impact your self-perception and your relationship. Even using face filters on apps like Snapchat and Instagram can have harmful effects on your confidence, which is the last thing you want to experience before your wedding.

Instead, listen to your body and prioritize your mental health as needed. Perhaps you'll find that creating a separate Instagram page or email account specifically for your wedding will help you set necessary boundaries that protect your wellbeing. You might even choose to set aside specific time frames during the week or on the weekend to unplug and focus on reconnecting and spending quality time with your partner, away from the stressors of social media. Prioritizing your mental wellness should always take precedence, but it couldn't be more important as you plan your wedding. Listen to what your mind needs, and act accordingly; and if you need to take a social media break, give yourself the grace to do so—the benefits will be invaluable.

4. Share Your Hashtag

Plenty of couples opt to create a custom wedding hashtag for their big day. Not only is this a fun way to personalize your nuptials, it'll encourage guests to share their favorite snapshots online. And since you can always go back and browse posts under a specific hashtag, it'll serve as a permanent gallery wall of memories from your wedding. (Pro tip: If you need some help to get the ideas flowing, you can always hire a professional hashtag service like Wedding Hashers to do the creative thinking for you.)

Whether you've had your hashtag planned for months before you even got engaged or you've created it a few weeks before the big day, feel free to share it online as soon as it's ready. That way, it'll stick out in guests' minds when they pull out their phones to take a boomerang or photo booth selfie at your event.

5. Keep Wedding-Related Frustration Off Your Feed

Planning a wedding is supposed to be an enjoyable experience—after all, marrying your S.O. is an exciting milestone in your life. And, while we have plenty of free wedding planning tools to simplify and streamline the process, hosting such a monumental celebration may feel stressful at times. Though you may feel overwhelmed by vendor contracts or planning deadlines, one of the top social media wedding etiquette rules is to keep your wedding frustrations offline. This includes posting negatively about your team of vendors, airing family drama on the internet, or complaining about the size of your to-do list.

The good news, though, is that there are plenty of online support groups dedicated to couples planning their weddings. If you're looking for advice or feel like you're in need of help from other people who've been there, you can turn to private Facebook groups, online forums (like The Knot Community) or other support sites that can help you work through your wedding frustrations privately and appropriately.

6. Avoid Posting Your Wedding Website Link

Though it's one of the least obvious social media wedding etiquette rules, couples should avoid posting their wedding website online. This is primarily because your wedding website contains information meant only for your guests. (Think: the date, time and location of your celebration, wedding party details, RSVP deadlines, and even your registry information.) Friends or followers who aren't invited to your wedding might feel left out if they see your wedding website link on your feed. Posting your site online also opens it up to be criticized by the same demographic. We have a feeling you don't want an old high school acquaintance commenting on your venue choice or style selection, so protect your important wedding details by only sharing your wedding website link through insert cards in your formal invitation suite.

7. Don't Ask Guests to RSVP Through Social Media

Here's another unexpected social media wedding etiquette rule: Avoid asking guests to RSVP specifically through social media platforms. While it might seem like an easy choice at first, you'll quickly get bogged down with Facebook messages, Instagram DMs and comments from guests, making it hard to keep track of who's coming and with how many guests. Streamline the process by only accepting responses through mailed RSVP cards or through your wedding website. Once the answers start rolling in, you'll be grateful to have everything organized.

8. Tell Guests if You're Planning an Unplugged Wedding

Not all couples want their wedding posted on social media, and that's perfectly okay. If you're forgoing a hashtag in favor of an unplugged wedding, tell loved ones ahead of time so no one takes out their phone to start snapping photos mid-ceremony. In addition to putting unplugged wedding signage around your venue, we also recommend adding this request to your invites and your wedding website to ensure all guests know your preferences before they arrive.

9. Have Someone Else Handle Your Phone on the Big Day

This is one social media faux pas you might not think about until you're ready to walk down the aisle. Your phone will likely be flooded with texts, well-wishes and tagged photos on your wedding day, but this should be the least of your worries. After months spent planning your big day, you deserve to relax and celebrate without thinking about what's happening on your phone. We recommend designating someone you trust—like your maid of honor, best man or a close family member—to handle your device on the wedding day. Ask them to help field last-minute questions from guests or screenshot any disappearing Instagram Stories so you don't miss out. They'll still be there after the big day, so give your phone to someone you trust and live in the moment without worrying about keeping up with your notifications.

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