Etiquette and Themes to Plan the Perfect Potluck Wedding

Let your guests pitch in on the big day.
Potluck dinner with various dishes, potluck wedding
Photo: Stocksy
Heather Bien - The Knot Contributor.
by
Heather Bien
Heather Bien - The Knot Contributor.
Heather Bien
The Knot Contributor
  • Heather contributes wedding, honeymoon, travel and relationship content for The Knot and WeddingWire.
  • Heather also writes for publications including Apartment Therapy, StyleBlueprint, MyDomaine, HelloGiggles and The Everygirl.
  • She holds a degree in Art History and Architectural History from the University of Virginia.
Updated Jan 13, 2025

If you've spent weeks staring at your guest list, wondering who you're going to cut to get your catering number in budget, there might be an easier solution. Just like you'd throw a potluck Thanksgiving dinner to bring friends and family together, you can also throw a potluck wedding.

It may not be one of the most conventional wedding food ideas but think about every loved one who's asked you what they can do to help during the wedding planning process. People love to feel like they're needed, particularly if it's during one of the most important milestones in the life of someone close to them.

But, for the couple getting married, pitching the idea of a potluck-style wedding might feel like walking a tightrope between, "We just want something simple where we can all celebrate together!" and "We're asking everyone to pay for our wedding."

Luckily, the wedding and etiquette experts have some tried and true ideas about how to lower your wedding catering cost, invite everyone you care about and throw a potluck wedding reception that feels sentimental and warm. Here's everything you need to know about how to do a potluck wedding that becomes one of your most meaningful core memories.

What to Know About Having a Potluck Wedding: What Is It? | Etiquette | Invitation Wording | Ideas | How to Plan

What Is a Potluck Wedding?

Just like a potluck dinner party, a potluck wedding is a celebration where each of the guests brings a homemade dish rather than relying on a caterer to provide outside food. Your aunt might bring the rolls, while your best friend flexes her baking skills on the wedding cake. Everyone pitches in to throw a welcoming, simple celebration with delicious homemade food.

A potluck wedding is one of the best wedding food ideas on a budget. You'll get a wonderful, home-cooked meal, but without spending $80 a plate for each of your guests. Paired with an affordable wedding venue, a potluck wedding lets you focus on inviting the people that mean the most to you, without worrying about whether or not you can afford the high price tag per guest.

Potluck Wedding Etiquette

A potluck-style wedding reception might catch some guests off guard, but the idea isn't new. Across regions and cultures, potluck weddings actually have a long history of bringing communities together to celebrate the happy couple. Whether it was family members making desserts or everyone pitching in a dish, this was the norm for centuries. However, their modern-day iteration is just beginning to pick up steam, particularly for couples planning a micro-wedding.

"Potluck weddings have become more popular over the past several years, due to COVID-19 and the micro-wedding trend," says Bethany Skorik, etiquette expert at The Charming Diplomat, who adds that potluck weddings are often best suited to hometown weddings where most guests will have access to their own pantries and ovens.

It's also a good idea to express to your guests that their contribution to the potluck is their wedding gift. They may insist on wanting to buy you the coffee maker anyway, but showing your appreciation goes a long way. And don't forget to send a thank you note following the wedding! If your best friend's gift was a casserole-size dish of her famous mac and cheese, that deserves an enthusiastic thank you!

Potluck Wedding Invitation Wording

A well-planned potluck wedding starts with a clear invitation. Communication is key from the beginning. Guests should understand exactly what they're attending and what's being asked of them. That's why potluck wedding invitation wording requires a bit more nuance than a standard wedding. Spell out exactly what you expect from each guest. Need to find the perfect invitation? You can find a wide range of invitations on The Knot Invitations.

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Potluck Wedding Invitation Wording: Our celebration will be a potluck dinner. We're excited to be surrounded by our friends and family, and we ask that each guest sign up for a dish to share.

Your wedding website is not only the best place to convey details to your guests, but it's also where you can gather details from your guests in one place.

Potluck Wedding Website Wording: We can't wait to celebrate with our closest friends and family over a wonderful homemade meal. Our wedding will be a potluck, and we ask that each guest sign up here for a dish to share.

The sign-up instruction is the key to a successful potluck wedding invitation. You don't want your guests to get their hearts set on bringing a winter salad only to find out the only dish left is a dessert. Isadora Martin-Dye, owner of Rixey Manor in Rixeyville, Virginia, explains, "The most smoothly run potluck dinners boil down to communication; to make sure that everyone knows who is bringing what so no two people unintentionally bring the same dish."

Potluck Wedding RSVP Wording

The potluck wedding RSVP is often best collected online. You'll need to think about all of the pieces that a catering company would usually need to know, except you need to know this information and make sure it's accounted for on the wedding day.

"Similarly to working with a professional catering company, the couple should get information about potential allergies and specific numbers for their guest count," Martin-Dye says. Below is an RSVP card wording example for a potluck wedding.

Potluck Wedding RSVP Card Wording: RSVP

Please mail back or reply online by [Date].

Name | No. of Guests

We're so excited to celebrate with you! Please sign up for a dish via our website. We also request any details regarding allergies or dietary restrictions.

On the website itself, include a note offering guests the opportunity to help set up or clean. Martin-Dye says, "I make sure that my clients are aware that they not only need to think about who is bringing the food, but who is also going to help with cleaning up."

Potluck Wedding Ideas

With a potluck wedding, it's helpful to have an intentional theme that makes the potluck feel charming and community-driven. Skorik says, "When themed correctly, potlucks can bring a beautiful feeling of nostalgia and community to a wedding."

Bring in Professionals to Supplement the Potluck

If you like the idea of potluck, but you're not sure whether you want to commit to an entirely potluck wedding, you can bring in the professionals to supplement the meal. Consider finding a caterer at a budget-friendly price point on The Knot Vendor Marketplace or bring in a food truck to handle dessert or even the main course.

Choose a Potluck-Friendly Menu

Your guests will appreciate being given some guidance when it comes to what potluck wedding food to bring, and it's helpful to give them suggestions. Choose items that are easy to make ahead (you don't want anyone skipping the ceremony because they are still cooking!) and look for recipes that don't require strict temperature control. Barbecue, pasta salad and salad are all good dishes to bring to a potluck wedding.

Unite the Dishes With a Color Palette

One of the difficulties of a potluck wedding is that you relinquish some control over the presentation. But, Skorik says, "You can create a color palette for your dishes and dinnerware. Express this to the guests providing the food or you can assign someone to transfer items into your dishes." She also suggests all-white or clear dishes to present a unified look, since both of these can usually be purchased inexpensively.

Host a Vintage-Inspired Wedding

There's already an inherent touch of nostalgia with a potluck wedding, and Skorik recommends leaning in. "A cottage-core wedding would be a perfect setting for a potluck and is a wonderful way to incorporate your grandmother's serving dishes. Begin thrifting china well in advance to create an eclectic and bohemian feel."

Go for a Festive Potluck

People are already accustomed to potlucks around holidays like the Fourth of July, so why not use that as an opportunity to say "I do" in a casual, easygoing setting? "If you're looking for an easy, economical way to approach a potluck wedding, look no further than Independence Day. A BBQ or summer-themed wedding around the Fourth of July opens the door to a more laid-back experience, including food choices, presentation and timeline," Skorik says.

Hold a Thanksgiving Potluck Wedding

A potluck wedding is a natural fit when you get married around the holidays, like Thanksgiving. Wedding buffet ideas go hand-in-hand with figuring out who's making the green bean casserole. And what could be cozier than walking down the aisle just before sitting down for the big meal? "Quintessential Thanksgiving dishes are designed to feed large groups and are a warm, soulful way to celebrate your first meal as a couple," Skorik adds.

How to Plan a Potluck Wedding

While planning a potluck wedding means taking some of the budgetary worries off your plate, it doesn't mean you're off the hook with planning. You'll actually need to be more on top of the details, the flow and the logistics. As Martin-Dye says, "It is important to remember that by including more people in the planning you need to be prepared for a higher level of communication with your guests." Here's how exactly to plan a wedding with a potluck meal that goes off without a hitch.

1. Set a Budget

Potluck doesn't mean free. You'll still have to plan for everything from the venue to flowers to tables, chairs and place settings. Use The Knot Budget Advisor to get a realistic idea of what you can expect locally when it comes to wedding costs.

2. Communicate Clearly and Often

From making it clear when you send out the invitations that it's a potluck to relaying all of the fine print details, like when to drop off the food and whether there are allergies, communication is key. When you're relying on your guests to be your stand-in caterers, you have to make sure they are given all of the information they need to be successful. People want to help, but most people will not be proactive—they need you to be the planner, coordinator and catering lead all in one.

Be ready to field questions, particularly in the days leading up to the wedding. Remember, they're saving you the cost of hiring a caterer, so be patient and ready to answer!

3. Create a Menu

Decision fatigue is a real thing and if you give people the option of making anything, there's a good chance some people will bow out. Instead, give people a theme or potluck wedding menu ideas, like a barbecue cookout or Italian feast. If they have guidance, then they'll have fun coming up with a potluck wedding dish they know they can execute for a crowd.

4. Put an Organized Sign-Up System Into Place

Desserts are great, but you don't want to end up with six desserts and zero entrees. Have an organized sign-up system where guests can sign up for their dish and see what other people are bringing. This guarantees you'll hit all the high notes and you know where to fill in as needed.

5. Have a Plan for Serving Dishes

Since you aren't hiring a caterer, you won't have serving dishes at the ready. Skorik suggests, "For those who love to host parties in their homes, you could prepare for a potluck wedding by asking for serving dishes and buffet-style items for your wedding shower."

6. Figure Out the Food Logistics

No one wants to risk getting food poisoning because they're not sure the chicken salad is at the right temperature, nor do they want to eat their pasta with a spoon because there aren't any forks. "Make sure the logistics are in place, from keeping food warm or cold to having proper serving dishes and utensils," Skorik says.

7. Assign Clean-Up Duty

Usually, the catering crew cleans up after the wedding, but the catering crew is you! Don't be afraid to ask for help. Before the wedding, ask for volunteers to assist in clean-up. Your nearest and dearest won't mind pitching in to make sure that you aren't working late into the night after your dream wedding.

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