Radio Personality Shod Santiago Shares His Love Story: "We're Not Going Anywhere"

Amid the ongoing Black Lives Matter movement and in time for the fifth anniversary of the SCOTUS marriage equality act, The Knot chats with influential couples about intersectionality and their love stories.

Rashaad Santiago is wearing a blindingly beautiful ring. While it wasn't something that could be comprehended in person, the ring itself—from fiancé Bruce Franklin—is a stack of multiple diamond bands that bubbles to gradual crescendo dimension in its center stack. "I'm so spoiled," he says of the piece, while of his fiancé, he glows: "He's such a go-getter… He's really good with saving and I'm not."

The couple first met outside of a club, among all places, in Atlanta's posh Buckhead neighborhood, where they now reside. "He's a stylist," says Santiago, whose last name is derived from his mother's side of the family. "Outside of the club, he was just staring at me. I get it because my personality is so big. But when you feel someone staring at you… it's like he was like amazed, intrigued and attracted all at the same time. But we didn't exchange numbers that day."

Santiago, instead, messaged him thereafter. "I found him on DMs and said, 'Oh, we have mutual friends!' And, that was my line.'"

After an on-again, off-again relationship that spanned seven years, Franklin proposed inside a gorgeous, dimly-lit restaurant, prior to the coronavirus heading stateside. "To get to the point of engagement has been the toughest road, because we've been on and off for six to seven years," Santiago reflects. "The love is always there and we've ended up full circle every single time."

Given the current climate, amid Pride Month and the Black Lives Matter movement, the couple has not only found strength in their relationship, but they've also come across a new message, loud and clear, that they intend to share with the world: "Our love matters because we can't help whom we love," Santiago says. Below, he chats with The Knot about his love in this juncture of history.

Intersectionality in Our Relationship Looks Like…

"As a gay Black man, I have a double whammy," says Santiago. "A Black trans girl got beat up by men and women weeks ago. Where is the Black energy when it comes to someone being gay or trans? Black Lives Matter, Gay Black Lives Matter, in general—not just for the people we choose it to matter for."

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While Santiago can certainly shout his story across social media, he sees why others choose to remain low-key about their love. "I am someone who is open—I take pride in being myself and being open with my sexuality," he notes. "My fiancé is someone who was struggling to come out to his family. All that matters is that we can't help whom we love. [Anecdotally speaking,] recently, a friend and a home girl was talking about how people choose to be gay. Noone would choose that."

He concludes, "If you are not gay, you cannot argue about choosing to be gay."

Why It's Important for LGBTQ+ Love Stories to Be Told (Including Ours)

Santiago grew up alongside 12 siblings and has long felt he could simply be himself, without having to share a specific "coming out moment" with his family members. "None of my siblings told my parents they were straight, so I didn't see the point of me telling them I was gay," he notes. "But imagine: My partner has two siblings, a brother and a sister, and his mom knew his brother was gay. But his mom didn't know he was gay until he said, 'I'm engaged to Shod.'"

Watching his partner's perspective has resulted in a new emotional layer with planning a wedding. "With the wedding, he's scared his family will be resistant," Santiago adds. "But we'll work it out."

While they may not have the complete support of the family, the two are planning to celebrate their updated relationship status with a grand engagement party. Planning the wedding will come after, alongside the event of their dreams. The biggest priority is their relationship as it stands--right now. "I'm such a strong person and I'm going to love who I love," he concludes. "I love him so much and imagine being in the gay community and being Black and gay? This is meant to be and we're not going anywhere."

Santiago pauses, and with a smile, he adds: "And even if something were to ever happen with us… just the fact we shared this bond of being engaged, about spending the rest of our lives together? I would never give the ring back."