The Secret to Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's 28-Year Marriage

After nearly 30 years of wedded bliss, Ted Danson and his wife Mary Steenburgen are one of the longest-married couples in Hollywood—and their honeymoon phase is far from over. The esteemed actors met in 1983 at an audition to portray on-screen spouses, without any inkling that they'd one day become husband-and-wife IRL.

This famous couple has appeared in some of the most iconic movies and TV shows of our generation—but in 2021, Danson said, "My greatest role is getting to be the husband of this incredible woman." It doesn't get more romantic than that, does it? Here, we look back on Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson's incredible love story, including their star-studded New England wedding, their famous blended family, and the secret to their lasting marriage.

• Ted Danson's spouse is Mary Steenburgen. The actors met at an audition in 1983 and reconnected on another film set 10 years later.
• After getting engaged in February 1995, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's wedding took place in Massachusetts on October 7, 1995.
• Mary Steenburgen and her husband Ted Danson raised their blended family together. In 2021, Steenburgen's son Charlie McDowell married actress Lily Collins in Colorado.

In this article:

• How Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Met
• Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's Relationship Timeline
• Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's Wedding
• Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's Children
• The Secret to Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's 28-Year Marriage

How Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Met

Photo: Vinnie Zuffante | Getty Images

Ted Danson and his spouse Mary Steenburgen met at an audition in 1983—and the roles foreshadowed their future love story. Danson was auditioning to portray Steenburgen's spouse in the romance drama Cross Creek. He ultimately didn't get cast in the film, which he told People was a "miracle" at the time. "I was a hot mess back then," Danson told the outlet in 2021. Steenburgen added, "I was married. He was married. That was not our moment."

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Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's Relationship Timeline

It would take another 10 years for Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson to reconnect and fall in love. Here's a look at the couple's complete relationship timeline, from 1983 to where they stand today.

1983: Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Meet

Mary Steenburgen met her husband Ted Danson at an audition for Cross Creek in 1983. At the time, Danson was gaining notoriety for his role as Sam Malone on Cheers, and Steenburgen recently won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in the 1980 flick Melvin and Howard. Ultimately, Danson did not land the role as Steenburgen's on-screen husband.

1993: Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Reconnect on a Film Set

Photo: Bob Riha, Jr. | Getty Images

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen reconnected 10 years later on the set of the comedy Pontiac Moon. At the time, both actors were committed to keeping things professional on set. "We both had sworn off relationships," Steenburgen said to People in 2021. (At the time, Danson had split with Whoopi Goldberg and was finalizing his divorce from his second wife, Casey Coates. Steenburgen had also parted ways with her first husband, Malcolm McDowell.)

She continued, "I wasn't ready for anything like a relationship. We just kept working together and becoming better and better friends." Their friendship took a romantic turn after Danson invited his co-star on a trip to California with his friends. "It was very magical," he told the outlet. "We came back in love, to be honest, or I'll say smitten."

February 1995: Ted Danson Proposes to Mary Steenburgen

Two years later, Ted Danson proposed to Mary Steenburgen. He spent a month preparing the special moment, which took place in Houston, where Steenburgen was filming the sci-fi film Powder. Reminiscing on the engagement during their 2021 cover story photoshoot for People, Danson said, "I was so clear I didn't want to be with anyone else — couldn't imagine not being with her at all times."

October 1995: Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson Get Married

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's wedding took place on October 7, 1995. The coastal nuptials were hosted on Danson's property on Martha's Vineyard in front of 150 guests, including the president at the time—and we break down all the details below.

1996: Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson Share the Screen in Gulliver's Travels

One year into newlywed life, Ted Danson and his wife Mary Steenburgen shared the screen again in the miniseries Gulliver's Travels. The two were appropriately cast as a husband-and-wife duo in the fantasy adaption of Jonathan Swift's 1726 satirical novel.

2004: Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Star in It Must Be Love

Mary Steenburgen and her husband Ted Danson reunited on screen once again in 2004, when they starred as a divorced couple that rekindles their love during a snowstorm in It Must Be Love.

2009: Ted Danson Celebrates Wife Mary Steenburgen's Hollywood Star

Photo: Michael Tran | FilmMagic

Ted Danson was by his wife's side when she was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She received the honor on December 16, 2009, and was joined by her children, Charlie and Lilly, and Danson's daughters, Kate and Alexis.

2017: Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson Address Divorce Rumors

Mary Steenburgen and her husband Ted Danson portrayed fictional versions of themselves on the sitcom Curb Your Enthusiasm—but when their characters got divorced on the show, the longtime couple had to assure their loved ones that this plotline was strictly fictional. "By the end of the night when it aired, it was trending online," Steenburgen recalled on The Jess Cagle Show. Danson added, "It was very strange."

October 2020: Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson Celebrate Their 25th Wedding Anniversary

Photo: Frazer Harrison | Getty Images

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen marked a major milestone in October 2020: their 25th anniversary! The actress honored their lasting love story by sharing a touching tribute to her husband on Instagram. "Thank you for making me laugh today and every single one of the last 9,125 days. You are the goofiest, wisest, kindest, dreamboat in the world," she wrote. "I can't believe how lucky I am. Happy Anniversary, Ted. Love, Mary."

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's Wedding

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's wedding took place on October 7, 1995, in Massachusetts. The coastal nuptials were hosted at the groom's farmhouse on Martha's Vineyard in front of an esteemed group of guests, including Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Jeff Goldblum and then-girlfriend Laura Dern, and Danson's Cheers co-stars Woody Harrelson, Kelsey Grammer and Kirstie Alley. Then-president Bill Clinton was also in attendance with his wife Hillary Clinton—and he even gave a speech during the rehearsal dinner.

In 2023, The Knot exclusively spoke to Mary Steenburgen ahead of the release of her film Book Club: The Next Chapter. During our conversation, she reflected on her nuptials from 28 years ago. "I still have my wedding dress from when Ted and I got married," she revealed, adding that the design had six violet flowers on the bodice—one for her, her husband, and each of their children, who each held special roles in the wedding party on the big day. "I haven't tried it on for a long time, but I think it would fit." When asked if she would change anything from their big day, she simply said, "I would wear that again. Same husband, same dress."

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's Children

Photo: Charley Gallay | Getty Images for Netflix

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen met when they were 45 and 40, respectively. At that point, they both had children from previous relationships. Ted Danson was formerly married to producer Cassandra Coates, with whom he shares daughters Kate and Alexis.

Mary Steenburgen also has two kids from her marriage to Malcolm McDowell: daughter Lilly and son Charlie. In 2021, Charlie McDowell married actress Lily Collins in Colorado. During a conversation with The Knot, Steenburgen shared a cherished memory from the couple's wedding day. "At my son's wedding, he whispered something to [Collins] during the vows that none of us heard," she shared. "I loved that so much because they claimed that little moment. Much of it was shared with us, but that little moment was just between the two of them and I thought that was really beautiful."

The Secret to Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's 28-Year Marriage

Having been married for over a quarter of a century, Ted Danson and his wife Mary Steenburgen have accomplished a rare feat for couples in the public eye. So, what's the secret to their marriage? According to the actress, it's quite simple. "[Our love] just gets more profound and deeper as we go through the blessings and joys, but also the hurdles, of life together," Steenburgen told People of her husband, who was featured in the publication's 2018 Sexiest Man Alive issue. "He is my partner in the deepest sense of the word in this life."

She continued, "[This] is a marriage where the man in the marriage is secure in both his kindness and tenderness, but also in his strength. I definitely feel that he is the result of almost like dreams I had when I was young about someone I would want to spend my life with, and I really cherish that and I think neither of us take each other for granted."

As for Danson, he told Entertainment Tonight in 2021 that life with Mary is always exciting. "I'm in love. We're in love. That handles a lot. We make each other laugh. I admire her," he said. "If I could be a woman, I'd want to be her." He added that they don't take their special connection for granted, even after all this time. "We delight in each other. And we're pretty disciplined about being celebratory of what we have."