Bridesmaids: How to Tell a Friend She Isn't a Bridesmaid?

by The Knot

How do I discuss my bridesmaid choices with a good friend of mine who's not going to be in my wedding? We just aren't as close as we once were, but I feel guilty for not including her, especially since I was her maid of honor!


This is tough! Prepare for hurt feelings, because unless she feels the same way you do (that you've grown apart and it would be awkward for both of you if she was in your wedding), she's going to be upset and maybe angry. The best way to do it is to be completely honest. Maybe go out for coffee together and just tell her. Explain that it was a tough decision but you really felt like you should have the people you feel closest to at this point in your life standing up for you, and there are so many of those people (including her), that you had to leave out some very special ones. She may or may not understand, but at least you'll have put everything on the table. A rule of thumb: Don't ignore it. In this case, honesty really is the best policy.

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