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Updated Mar 06, 2025How to Spice Up Your Love Life, According to Romance Author Tessa Bailey
The CEO of smut would like your attention.
There are romance books, and then there are Tessa Bailey's romance books. Whether you're a BookTok guru or you're slowly getting back into your reading era, you probably recognize this buzzy author. With over 20 titles to her name, Tessa Bailey is responsible for some of the internet's favorite romances—but don't judge a book by its cover. While her novels may look innocently charming on the outside, the interior delivers a level of spice you might never expect. There is a reason she's been dubbed the Michaelangelo of Dirty Talk, after all.
Though she's penned plenty of stories throughout her career, she rose to fame amid the viral popularity of her duology series It Happened One Summer and Hook, Line and Sinker, published in 2021 and 2022 respectively. (That first one is in production to become a movie, BTW.) Now, with sports WAG culture at an all-time high, thanks to high-profile couples like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce and Taylor Fritz and Morgan Riddle, there isn't a better time to devour her latest venture: the Big Shots series, a collection of inter-connected sports romances...each with five chili pepper spice ratings.
FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT
Ahead of the release of its second installment, The Au Pair Affair, on July 16, we caught up with Tessa Bailey to chat about her latest release (and the, ahem, boundary-pushing future of the Big Shots series, which may or may not include a step-sibling trope). Plus, we couldn't catch up with the CEO of smut without getting her top tips on how to spice up your relationship. Keep reading—we know you're curious.
In this article:
- How to Spice Up Your Love Life, According to Tessa Bailey
- Shop The Knot's Favorite Tessa Bailey Books
How to Spice Up Your Love Life, According to Tessa Bailey
Take one look at Tessa Bailey's TikTok account and you'll see she has no shortage of ideas for jaw-dropping, swoon-worthy romance books. But beyond the sheer creativity that keeps fans begging for more, some of her best inspiration comes from her real-life love story. Tessa Bailey has been married to her husband, Patrick, for nearly 20 years. The two met at her uncle's bar in Midtown Manhattan, where Patrick worked as a bartender. "We had a lot of romantic nights in front of the jukebox," she tells The Knot. (To this day, the bar's Tiffany lamp hangs in their basement.)
The couple's wedding took place on a rainy Tuesday night in a church on Park Avenue, followed by dinner in the back of a Cuban restaurant. "It was a sh-t-show," she recalls with a laugh. "Everybody was loaded within an hour, and it got really messy, really fast. When we got home to our fifth-floor walk-up in Brooklyn Heights the next day, we were like, 'Did that even happen?' But it felt exhilarating to be married to this person for the rest of my life." So, how do they keep the spark alive nearly two decades later? Take it from the spice expert herself.
Prioritize Small, Thoughtful Gestures
When it comes to spicing up your relationship, you might think you have to stock up on silky lingerie or a new toy for the bedroom. But before you go lighting candles and scattering rose petals, Bailey encourages couples to be more intentional about how they show love. "People's idea of romance is that it's all about the main event or the steamy encounters," she explains. "For me, it's more about the little gestures, like remembering dates, remembering your partner's favorite things, or showing up with their favorite dinner once in a while."
To start, think about what made you both excited when you first began dating—then do more of it. "When you get too comfortable in a relationship, you forget that your person has a libido and a romantic heart," she continues. "You need to make sure you're nurturing those things."
Show Interest in What Your S.O. Loves
Having gone on countless book tours and engagements throughout her career, Bailey has learned a thing or two about love from her readers as well. "I always meet couples that come to my table at book signings," she says. "Readers go to my events because they enjoy my books, but often, their partners read them too. It validates them, and that says they want to love this thing that their partner also loves. It can be something they share."
Of course, this doesn't just apply to romance books. "Whatever your partner is interested in, whether it's reading, golfing or being a foodie, find a way to be interested in that as well, because that makes the person feel supported." In fact, Bailey can attest that this trait—which her husband embodies—helped her career flourish, especially in the early days.
"My husband is one of the most generous and supportive people in the world," she says. "When I was a baby author, he was working full time and we had a child. I said, 'If I just had more time in the day, I really think I can make this into a career.' He believed in me, and he quit his job and started watching our daughter so that I could write full-time. It probably was financially irresponsible, but he believed in me enough to do that."
Now, that selfless love appears in all of her book boyfriends—and it's a trait she says readers should prioritize in their relationships too. "These are qualities that I absolutely write into my heroes," she continues. "They believe in the heroine's dream, and they want to support it fully."
Flirt Like the Old Days
What's the actual secret to keeping the love alive? Bailey believes in the power of flirting. "Date them," she suggests. "Remind each other why you got together in the first place. I don't know, slap their butt!"
Read Romance Books
Of course, if you're really trying to maintain the honeymoon phase, it won't hurt to read a few spicy romance books. (You know, for research purposes.) "I think romance is the healthiest genre to read," Bailey says. "When people ask if I think romance novels give readers higher standards, I say they absolutely do—and readers should have higher standards. [Romance books] made me want to find someone who respects me, cares for me, allows me to have dreams, and loves me unconditionally. There's nothing but positivity and hope."
Shop The Knot's Favorite Tessa Bailey Books
As if you don't have enough on your TBR pile already, we'd be remiss not to include a guide to our favorite Tessa Bailey books. Technically speaking, her titles can be read as standalones, but some are better in specific orders—so we break down what you need to know (and where to buy them) here.
The Au Pair Affair
Photo: Bookshop
Readers meet Tallulah and Burgess in the first Big Shots series book, Fangirl Down. It follows bad-boy golfer Wells Whitaker, who begrudgingly develops feelings for his number one fangirl-turned-caddy Josephine Doyle. We recommend reading that first to get the full impact of The Au Pair Affair, which is *this* editor's favorite Tessa Bailey book to date. In this binge-able follow-up, Josephine's best friend Tallulah lands a gig as an au pair for Burgess' daughter, Lissa. The aging hockey veteran is a newly single dad, and he's determined not to catch feelings for the nanny—but you can guess what might happen when they spend a few too many nights together cooped up in his penthouse apartment. (And when Tallulah tries on his hockey jersey. Duh.)
Take it from us: the spice is spicing in this rom-com. While you might come for the hockey trope, you'll stay for the witty banter, eye-popping dirty talk and shocking emotional depth of characters you'll come to love like family. Plus, this serves as the first introduction to Sig and Chloe, future step-siblings who share undeniable chemistry. Bailey promises there's more where that came from, so stay tuned for the latest Big Shots news.
It Happened One Summer
Photo: Bookshop
Loosely inspired by Schitt's Creek, It Happened One Summer follows Piper Bellinger, a spoiled socialite who falls from grace after one embarrassingly wild night lands her in jail. To help clean up her act, Piper's stepfather cuts her off and sends her and her sister, Hannah, to work at their late father's dive bar in small-town Washington. It doesn't take long for her to meet Brendan, a grumpy deep-sea fisherman, who assumes Piper will be out of town faster than you can say "Christian Louboutin."
While Piper is determined to prove Brendan (and the rest of the local fishing community) wrong, they never expect sparks to fly—especially considering they're polar opposites. With an expertly crafted grumpy-sunshine trope, there's a reason this is one of Bailey's most recognizable books. Once you're done, be sure to read its sequel, Hook, Line and Sinker, which follows the friends-to-lovers tale of Hannah and Brendan's best friend, Fox.
Same Time Next Year
Photo: Amazon
If you, like the rest of BookTok, love a hockey romance, you'll be thrilled to know that The Au Pair Affair was not Bailey's first foray into the sports scene. Her 2023 e-book novella, Same Time Next Year, centers around Britta, a waitress trying to make ends meet at a sports bar that's beloved by the local hockey team. Since Britta's brother is on the Bandits, she has a strict no-dating policy—but all that changes when she meets Sumner, a Candian athlete who's set on marrying an American so he can get his green card and continue to play in the US. Short, spicy and sweet, this Tessa Bailey book is best enjoyed around New Year's Eve (and is a great way to ensure you reach that end-of-year book goal).
Unfortunately Yours
Photo: Bookshop
Pour yourself a crisp glass of rosé and settle into Bailey's A Vine Mess duology, set on a dazzling vineyard in Napa Valley. The series opens with Secretly Yours, a grumpy-sunshine story that follows Hallie and her childhood crush, Julian, as she's hired to revamp his failing family winery. Read that before diving into Unfortunately Yours, starring Julian's sister Natalie as she returns home after losing her job and her fiancé in one swift disaster. She quickly meets local wine-maker August, who's struggling to keep his family business afloat. It doesn't take long to realize they have the power to help each other in their unfortunate circumstances: She needs a fake marriage to access her trust fund, and he needs a hefty loan to turn his winery around. What they don't expect though, is that their "pretend" chemistry isn't all that fake.
As if you needed another reason to add it to your TBR pile, this Tessa Bailey book features one of her best wedding scenes with the most iconic line, well, possibly ever written in her entire repertoire. IYKYK.
