How to Get the Engagement Ring You Actually Want

There's no need to keep your dream ring a secret.
by Maggie Seaver and Sarah Hanlon

Expecting a proposal? You might be wondering how to get the engagement ring you want. It is a monumental purchase, after all, meaning the selection process likely won't be easy. But instead of dropping subtle engagement ring hints, there are a few easier ways to get your dream ring (that don't involve worrying if your partner caught the hint or not).  

Whether you design the ring together or tell your S.O. exactly what your heart so desires, there's no need to treat engagement ring shopping like a taboo wedding topic. The element of surprise will still be in effect, because even if you do shop for the ring together, you likely won't be able to predict when the moment is coming. So, in the spirit of keeping things real with your partner, we're sharing exactly how to get the engagement ring you want. From strategic conversation starters to effective engagement ring hints, these expert tips will leave you with a sparkler you'll never want to take off. 

1. Be Honest and Just Tell Them

The best way to ensure that you get the engagement ring you want is to simply be upfront and tell your S.O. It's 2020, after all, which means it's perfectly appropriate (and encouraged) to have honest conversations with your partner about important topics. An engagement ring isn't an inexpensive purchase, and it's a piece of jewelry you'll wear for years to come. Why not be candid about what you like and don't like? Gone are the days of dropping subtle engagement ring hints and leaving strategically placed wedding magazines strewn about the house, hoping your partner will get the message before they make the purchase. Make it a point to sit down together and talk about what you both want. Doing so will make the selection process simple and stress-free. 

2. Give Them Visuals

A few visuals can help keep your partner on track while shopping. Share your favorite jewelry designer’s Instagram account, send them pics of your celeb icon’s engagement ring, or even pass along the link to the exact ring you want. There’s no need to play the wink-wink, nudge-nudge game if you know exactly what you want to wear on your finger. 

3. Shop Together

Every couple is different. The idea of shopping for rings together might make traditionalists gasp—but the truth is, there’s no better way to get the engagement ring you want than going in as a team. For the best of both worlds, head to a jeweler to get the lay of the land. Try on a variety of styles to learn both what you love and what you don’t. Then keep the surprise element by letting your partner return on their own to buy it and choose the right time to propose.

4. Enlist the Help of a Loved One

Ring shopping is hard. To make it less of a guessing game, having a loved one step in to help might be a worthy move. Tell them what kind of ring you're looking for, and have them reach out to your partner to offer guidance. (After all, there's a good chance you and your childhood best friend have spent years talking about your dream engagement rings.) Choosing a sparkler will be much easier if a sibling, parent or best friend is able offer some assistance. 

5. Design it Together

Still wondering how to get the engagement ring you want? Make it yourself. It's not uncommon for some couples to design an engagement ring together. If you know exactly what kind of bauble you want to wear, it's only logical for you to have a say in the design. Creating the piece together will be a special experience for the two of you, and you'll be left with a ring that you absolutely love. 

6. Be Creative With Your Hints

Maybe you're not comfortable with being completely upfront about the engagement ring you want. That's okay too! If you're better suited to drop a few engagement ring hints, there are a few creative ways to make sure your partner gets the message loud and clear. 

If you're particularly loving someone else's engagement ring, whether it's a celebrity or a close friend, tell them what you like about it. Whenever the engagement topic comes up in conversation, don't hesitate to mention why a particular style or shape is your favorite. (For example, say, "I just love the look of Blake Lively's oval engagement ring.")  Or, if you're into an alternative engagement ring style, tell them why. Ultimately, your partner wants to get you a ring you're excited to wear, so trust their instinct (but don't be afraid to guide them along the way).

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