Experts Share How to Navigate Postponing Wedding Plans

If you're considering postponing your wedding, you know that decision isn't made lightly. Whether you're just a few months into planning or you've already dropped the invitations in the mail, the important thing to remember is this is more than just a party—it's your life. And, if the right decision is to postpone your wedding either for now or indefinitely, there's no such thing as too late.

The reasons for postponing a wedding are as varied as the reasons for deciding to get married in the first place. You might postpone a wedding due to a close family member falling ill, or, perhaps, there's a baby coming earlier than expected, and you'd rather wait to celebrate your marriage until after the little one arrives. Or, maybe, you've decided as a couple that you need to spend more time working on your relationship before you walk down the aisle. In some cases, you might just find that you're getting cold feet before the wedding, and you don't want to take your chances.

Whatever the reason, there will be questions about exactly how to postpone a wedding, the etiquette for postponing a wedding, and exactly how to send a change of date announcement. Here's what the experts—a wedding planner and a therapist—have to say.

In this article:

• Can I Postpone My Wedding?
• Reasons to Postpone a Wedding
• How to Postpone a Wedding
• Postpone Wedding Wording
• Wedding Postponement Announcement

Can I Postpone My Wedding?

Needing to postpone a wedding might seem like the biggest wedding crisis that could possibly come up, but life happens. You can absolutely postpone your wedding if it feels like the right decision. The reason does not matter. If postponing is what you need to do, you should feel empowered to do so—do not worry about the impact on guests or vendors. You're getting married, not them.

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However, it is important to consider all of the moving parts and pieces involved when postponing a wedding so you can communicate effectively to everyone from the venue to the caterer to your aunt who booked a cross-country flight. While the most critical step is making sure your mental health is taken care of, you also want to lessen the financial and logistical impact on your friends and family as much as possible.

Reasons to Postpone a Wedding

Any reason to postpone a wedding is legitimate, and the biggest thing to consider is how it's going to affect your experience and joy throughout the wedding season. "Ask yourselves: Is this situation affecting our day-to-day life, our ability to enjoy the planning process or our excitement about upcoming events? The sooner you assess the impact, the better," explains Alysha Perlman, associate clinical director and LCSW therapist at A Good Place Therapy. These are a few of the circumstances that could cause a couple to start looking at future dates on the calendar.

Natural Disaster

One of the unpredictable situations that could cause a postponement in the days immediately leading up to a wedding is a natural disaster. Jodi Drysdale, owner and principal planner at CES Weddings and Events in Chico, California, recalls a wildfire that led one of her clients to postpone. "The next morning, as I sat with the couple and the bride's mom, who had been evacuated, we determined we had no choice but to postpone the wedding that was less than 30 hours away."

She explains that, due to the last-minute nature of the postponement, she took over rescheduling vendors, while members tag-teamed calling guests. "Those family members held each other a little tighter."

Family Emergencies

Postponing a wedding due to family illness or making the decision to postpone a wedding due to a death in the immediate family is one of the most devastating situations to hit a couple. In many cases, the couple may try to go forward with the wedding. But, if this situation hits too close to home and it will impact their ability—as well as the ability of many of the guests—to enjoy the day, then it may be worth postponing until the family has had significant time to process.

Pregnancy

One of the more exciting reasons to postpone a wedding is pregnancy. While many couples might forge ahead, some choose to postpone the wedding when they get their big news. Drysdale remembers one couple who called her several months ahead of the wedding with an announcement.

"I asked her to imagine how she would feel about being a bride at eight months pregnant, not drinking, and likely being pretty tired. What would she want to remember," Drysdale explains. "We also talked about how she really wanted to enjoy the season of pregnancy and becoming a mom, and how planning a wedding at the same time could challenge that as a stand-alone experience."

Finances

Weddings are expensive. There will almost always be unexpected wedding costs, and the budget may balloon faster than expected. If you pair that with an extenuating life circumstance, like a job loss, then postponing a wedding due to finances might be a good option. Perhaps it's postponed for a year down the road when you can get yourselves back on track and bolster your savings, or you choose to go with a smaller celebration instead. This type of postponement, however, is best done months in advance, before you lose significant money due to deposits.

Relationship Issues

There are, of course, some weddings that are postponed due to issues within the relationship itself. While cold feet are not uncommon, if it seems there are deeper problems lurking, then the best course of action might be to postpone the wedding for a yet-to-be-determined date. Sign up for couples counseling, be willing to have the tough conversations, and decide whether moving forward is what's right for you both. Don't feel like you owe anyone an explanation beyond the fact that you've made the decision to postpone, and you will contact them when a new date is announced.

How to Postpone a Wedding

Once you've made the decision to postpone your wedding, it's time to shift into get-it-done mode. From the photographer who's had your date blocked off for months to friends and family booking hotels, there's a long list of people to notify and plans to cancel and shift. Perlman says, "Being proactive also gives your guests and vendors time to adjust, helping to reduce unnecessary stress and confusion for everyone involved." Here's where you need to start.

Contact Your Guests

Particularly if you're close to the wedding date, your first stop should be communicating the message to your guests. Depending on whether you're two months out or two days out, you can either send an email or start calling and texting. Enlist the help of friends and family if you need backup, but make sure everyone has the same information and script so your message can stay consistent. "This helps ensure consistency and avoids the potential for gossip or misunderstandings that can arise when news is shared secondhand," Perlman says. You don't need a rescheduled date at this time, but if you have a general timeline in mind, it can be nice to share that.

Check Your Wedding Insurance Policy

In an ideal world, you have wedding insurance, and it will cover you in the case of a wedding postponed due to extenuating circumstances. Check your policy to see what it covers so that you can go into vendor conversations with clear expectations.

Notify Your Venue

As soon as you can, notify your venue. Depending on how far out from the date you decide to postpone, they may be able to release and re-book your date (which could impact their willingness to reschedule or refund your wedding).

Reach Out to Vendors

Right after notifying your venue, contact your vendors, prioritizing those with a longer lead time for their services. Depending on your wedding payment plan, you may be able to work out an agreement to postpone the services to your rescheduled date.

Review New Dates

When you're ready, look at new dates (if that's what you decide to do). Consider whether you want this to be a rescheduled version of your initial wedding plans or whether you want to do something different.

Communicate the Rescheduled Date

With the new date in hand, communicate the plans to your guests. Do so with the understanding that some guests may not be able to make the new date, whether that's due to a conflict in schedule or because they already spent their budget on travel for the original date.

Postpone Wedding Wording

While the circumstances around every wedding postponement are different, the need to communicate the message to guests remains the same. While it's not necessary to include details in your message, it can be a nice gesture, particularly if you know guests have already booked their travel.

Perlman recommends having a three-pronged approach to spreading the news. She says, "Communicate appreciation, rationale and next steps. Express gratitude for your guests' support and acknowledge the effort they may have already put into attending your wedding. Share as much or as little context as you're comfortable with. Let guests know what to expect next."

• Cancelling Without Revealing a Reason: We regret to inform you that the wedding of [name] and [name] has now been postponed. We will communicate details regarding a rescheduled date as they are available. Thank you for your understanding and support, and we look forward to celebrating with you in the future.
• Cancelling With Revealing a Reason: Perlman recommends saying, "We've made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding due to [reason]. After considering several factors, we believe this is the best way to prioritize what we need right now, so that we can fully enjoy and focus on the wedding when the time feels right. As we all know, life sometimes has other plans. We truly appreciate your support and understanding, and will keep you updated with any new information as it becomes available."
• Cancelling Due to Natural Disaster: After carefully considering the current situation in [location], we've made the decision to postpone our wedding. As we navigate these unforeseen circumstances and look ahead to setting a new date, we will keep you updated. We thank you so much for your support and understanding, and we look forward to celebrating with you soon.
• Cancelling Due to a Family Emergency: Due to unforeseen circumstances in our family, we have decided to postpone our wedding. We hope to reschedule in the near future, and we are incredibly grateful for your love, support and understanding during this difficult time. We look forward to celebrating with you soon, and we appreciate every one of your kind messages, thoughts and prayers.
• Cancelling Due to Pregnancy: We're elated to announce that we are expecting Baby [name] in [month and year]. While this now gives us two reasons to celebrate this year, we've made the decision to postpone our wedding until after the birth. We look forward to celebrating with you in [month and year of rescheduled date], and we thank you for your understanding and well wishes!
• Lighthearted Cancellation: Rather than saving the date, we're changing the date! We're still looking forward to toasting to our marriage with our nearest and dearest, but due to unforeseen circumstances, we've had to delay our celebration. We will be in touch soon with the new date, and we hope you can join us for take two!

Wedding Postponement Announcement

Once you've had a few moments to step back, think about the postponement and the implications, and consider the best time to reschedule the wedding, the next order of business is alerting guests to the new date. You can find change-the-dates on The Knot Invitations, where you can get just as creative as you did with your invitations. There are opportunities to customize the colors, design styles and more—you can even make them coordinate with your original invitations. Plus, there's a range of price points available for every budget.