Q&A: Invitations: Noting Number Invited on Response Cards?

Q: Is it considered tacky to write in the number of invited guests on the response card?

A: This tactic will let guests know that only the people to whom the invite is addressed are invited. It's surprising how many guests feel free to bring children or other relatives you didn't expressly invite. But there is a subtler way to do this: Write in the exact names of the people invited (just as you addressed them on the outer or inner envelope), and have them check "will attend" or "will not attend." That way, it will be clear that "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "John, Katherine, and Tommy Smith" are the people invited; all they need to do is note whether or not they're coming.

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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot