Q&A: Invitations: Addressing One to a Gay or Lesbian Couple?

Q:

How do you address an invitation to a gay or lesbian couple?

A:

The same way you would address it to any other unmarried couple or married couple with different last names. On the outer envelope of the invitation, the two names should be alphabetically listed on separate lines:

Mr. George Bellafante Mr. Thomas Jones

On the inside envelope, use titles and last names: Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones. Same with the place card.

If, however, they are married, you have a couple of options, depending on how formally you want to address the envelopes. Because you won't be saying Mr. and Mrs. for this invite, you'll probably want to address it this way:

Ms. Joan McDermott

Ms. Theresa Smith

This way, you're not saying Ms. and Ms., which would be awkward. Joan comes before Theresa alphabetically. Another option if you don't want to use titles or put the two on separate lines, since they are, in effect, married:

Joan McDermott and Theresa Smith


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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot