Why Writing Your Wedding Mission Statement May Be the Most Important Planning Step

It'll change how you think about your big day.
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kim forrest the knot
Kim Forrest
kim forrest the knot
Kim Forrest
Senior Editor
  • Kim writes and edits articles for The Knot Worldwide, specializing in etiquette and planning advice
  • Kim manages freelance writers for The Knot Worldwide
  • Prior to The Knot Worldwide, Kim was Associate Bridal Editor at Washingtonian magazine and Associate Fashion Editor at Conde Nast’s Brides Local magazines
Updated Dec 19, 2022

If you're newly engaged and ready to start wedding planning, take our advice: Stop. Sorry, that sounded a little harsh. What we really mean is, before jumping headfirst into planning, take a step back and come up with your wedding mission statement. Wait a sec, you're planning a wedding, not starting a company! Well, it's actually kind of similar, but instead of coming up with a marketing plan or business objectives, you're setting the goals for your big day. While this may seem like a minor thing, it's actually a pretty big deal. In effect you're creating your North Star for your wedding planning journey, something that will be immensely helpful to you, your future spouse, family members, close friends, wedding vendors and more to keep everyone on the same page throughout the process.

So, how do you write this oh-so important wedding mission statement? We talked to two wedding experts and event-planning pros, Dani Blasena of HauteFetes Fine Weddings & Events in San Diego, California, and Sneh Diwan of Diwan By Design in Jersey City, New Jersey, to help you get started.

In this article:

What Is a Wedding Mission Statement?

"A wedding mission statement is a statement created by couples to help them focus their wedding on what is most important to them," says Blasena. "It may include their priorities, how they want their guests to feel, or how they see their day unfolding."

Think of your mission statement as the core values for your big day, your wedding's purpose or your intentions and priorities for the event. In just a few words or a couple of sentences, you'll describe which aspects of your wedding are most important to you and your future spouse. This will help guide your decision making as you move through the planning process.

Note that a wedding mission statement differs from a wedding vision or theme, which focuses more on style and visual elements. A mission statement tends to be a piece of writing, whereas a wedding vision is usually more image-focused (i.e., Pinterest or inspiration board).

When Should You Write Your Wedding Mission Statement?

"Ideally, a couple should create their mission statement before starting the wedding planning process," says Diwan. "It'll help determine which season would suit the wedding and which venues would best accommodate each event as well as picking the right vendor partners."

One caveat from Blasena: If you're hiring a wedding planner, book them before writing your mission statement. A planner can be super helpful with this task (among many others!).

If you've already started to plan your wedding, it's definitely not too late to write a mission statement! It can be useful at any point in the planning journey, whether you've hired vendors or not.

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Why Should You Write a Wedding Mission Statement?

It's all about focus. Throughout the planning process, you'll have to make a lot of decisions on a lot of wedding details. It can be easy to become overwhelmed and forget your priorities. Creating a mission statement will allow you to remain focused on what's important, streamline your decision making, help avoid going over budget and create a cohesive event that's personalized and unique.

"With soaring wedding costs due to inflation and supply chain issues, getting couples to succinctly capture what matters most to them also helps to focus the wedding on where best to spend time and money when it comes to planning," says Blasena. "Identifying what is most important to them on their big day—and by extension, creating a mission statement—makes all other decisions that much easier both on the couple and also me as their planner by focusing time, effort and resources to one end."

Who Should Be Involved in Writing the Wedding Mission Statement?

"Couples should come up with their mission statement on their own, or with the help of their planner, who can advise how plausible a given mission statement is," says Diwan. "This can keep couples from being overwhelmed with input from too many people, and it gives them the opportunity to stay true to themselves throughout this process."

While too many opinions can make the mission statement process more complicated, you may want allow input from certain financial contributors. Says Blasena: "If financial help is coming from family members and other stakeholders, then it's only fair that the statement also be run past them to ensure everyone is on the same page. After all, today both families are often hosts for the wedding—whether the wedding weekend or just the wedding day."

How Long Should Your Mission Statement Be?

A wedding mission statement should be short and sweet, easy enough for you and your future spouse to memorize. "A sentence or two should be sufficient for a mission statement," says Diwan. "Any longer than that might make it too specific, and that would start to limit the amount of creativity going into an event."

How Should You Create a Wedding Mission Statement?

To create a mission statement that both you and your partner are happy with, we recommend working separately, and then together. You and your partner may not agree on all of your priorities, but think of it as practice for a lifetime of marriage: Compromise is key.

Here's how Blasena suggests getting started: "I have brides and grooms separately rank their priorities, for example, from venue to florals to photography to attire. I also prompt them to describe their vision for their big day and to think about their guests' experience and how they want them to feel. Then I encourage them to have a conversation comparing their answers, especially if there are things that differ on each of their lists. By intersecting their priorities, wedding vision and how they want their guests to feel, together couples can boil down the goal of their wedding to what is most important to them."

What Should You Do With It Once It's Written?

Once you've written your wedding mission statement, write it down and make sure it's saved in a shared document. As you're hiring your wedding vendors, such as your wedding photographer, florist, officiant, venue, DJ and more, we recommend sharing your statement with them. During your initial meeting, wedding pros will likely ask you to tell them about your wedding—this is the perfect opportunity to share your mission statement. We also recommend providing your mission statement to both sets of parents, and perhaps, members of your wedding party. This will help ensure that everyone is on the same page about the vibe you're going for on the big day.

And once you've shared your mission statement with your wedding-day VIPs, don't forget it about it. It's a good idea to refer back to your mission statement from time to time to remember what's important. Says Blasena: "Throughout the planning process, couples should check in on their priorities because things do shift. However, in my view the mission statement should stay the same. For example, you may find yourself prioritizing live music over a multi-tiered cake in the course of planning (priorities shifting) but 'making sure everyone really enjoys themselves' (the mission statement) would remain the same."

In the end, creating a wedding mission statement should be a fun, and not stressful, exercise. It's all about keeping you, your partner, your families and your vendor team on the same page in order to create your ideal event. Adds Blasena: "Discussing your vision and establishing priorities will set you up for success while allowing you to set expectations for those around you, thus ensuring that your journey to the aisle continues to be a fun and happy one."

Wedding Mission Statement Examples

We asked Blasena and Diwan to share some examples of wedding mission statements to help inspire your own.

  • "As two individuals from different backgrounds are coming together, we want it reflected in the people who are making it happen. Our objective is to showcase a team of incredibly talented Mexican and Indian women that can create the perfect blend of our cultures."
  • "We want to use our wedding week to provide our guests with a moment to step back and take a break from the worries of everyday life—we want to give them the opportunity to take in mountainside views and be adventurous."
  • "Our goal is to create the best possible experience for our guests throughout our weekend, so that they come away saying, 'that was the best damn party, ever!'"
  • "We would like to plan a wedding weekend where guests are part of both our wedding-day experience and the next chapter of our love story."
  • "We want our wedding to bring together our favorite people over the course of our wedding weekend, and for the whole experience to be as easy as possible on our guests so that they enjoy themselves fully."
  • "Our wedding will focus on sustainability, as taking care of the planet is very important to us."
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