What Is the Best Ring Bearer and Flower Girl Age? The Etiquette

Adorable children stealing the spotlight at a wedding is a timeless and beloved tradition. There's just something extra precious about watching a ring bearer or a flower girl trot innocently down the aisle to add joy to an already meaningful wedding ceremony. But choosing the right flower girl age and determining who should play these roles at your wedding might be a tricky decision. The flower girl age is typically when children are young enough to bring an adorable charm but mature enough to confidently walk down the aisle and follow simple instructions.

In this article:

• Flower Girl Age
• Ring Bearer Age

Flower Girl Age

The flower girl is usually a young relative or close friend of the bride or groom, usually between the ages of 3 and 8, explains Joan Wyndrum, founder and owner of Blooms by the Box. Believe it or not, the tradition of the flower girl dates back to ancient Rome. Originally, young girls carried sheaves of wheat and herbs to bless the couple with fertility and prosperity and this evolved to wearing a white dress and carrying baskets of flowers—the tradition we honor and recognize today.

"Flower girls walk down the aisle right before the bride and symbolize the bride herself, moving forward from the innocence of childhood to adulthood in her new role as wife and eventual mother," says Kimberly Sisti, wedding planner and owner of Sisti & Co based in San Diego, California. "Depending on the rules of the venue, they can scatter rose petals, hold a small bouquet or even blow bubbles as they walk down the aisle."

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Best Age for Flower Girl

"Young girls within the ideal age range of 3 to 8 are chosen because they are old enough to follow simple instructions but young enough to represent innocence and sweetness," Wyndrym says. "The child's personality should also be considered because they have to be comfortable in front of crowds and enjoy the spotlight, which is often a good fit."

What Is the Age Limit for Flower Girls?

There's no definitive age requirement for a flower girl, so you may even wonder "can a one-year-old be a flower girl?" The role is traditionally filled by young girls, with the average age of a flower girl between 3 and 8. This age range often captures the endearing innocence and charm that perfectly complements the joyous atmosphere of a wedding, Wyndrym notes. "Younger flower girls tend to elicit particularly heartwarming reactions from guests, adding an extra layer of delight to the ceremony," she adds. If you feel a potential flower girl is too old for the role, you could opt to upgrade them to junior bridesmaid, a role where she'd partake in many bridal party duties without involvement in more mature events like the bachelorette party.

What to Keep in Mind if Having a Younger Flower Girl

Having a young flower girl can add an extra dose of charm and spontaneity to your wedding day. However, it's important to remember that they will have to be accompanied at all times by a trusted adult for getting ready, photos, the ceremony and the reception. This, Tracy Autem, owner of Tracy Autem & Lightly Photography in Fort Worth, Texas, explains, can impact your overall plan if their adult is not already in the wedding party. "Connect with the parents in advance and discuss who will be in charge of getting them dressed, feeding them and keeping them entertained," she says. "Sometimes having a grandparent or an adult not in the wedding party can be helpful."

Some younger flower girls are also still napping, so it's a good idea to touch base with their parents about their schedule and consider how that will play into your wedding day timeline. "A tired child will be less likely to participate in the day as planned," Autem says. "Also, temper your expectations about how involved they may be in photos if they are sleepy; it is okay if they are in a few but can't make it into all the planned portraits."

What to Keep in Mind if Having an Older Flower Girl

While younger flower girls often steal the show with their adorable antics, older flower girls can bring a unique charm and elegance to your wedding day. Autem recommends including their input more than you would a younger flower girl. For example, ask them how they would like to be involved and how they want to dress. "As a girl hits those tween years, she is likely to be opinionated and excited to make decisions," Autem says. "Be flexible in your expectations when it comes to the color of the flower girl dress, holding flowers vs. throwing petals or their beauty style."

Kelsey Strickland, of Twickenham House and Hall in Boone, North Carolina, also recommends keeping them involved in the wedding party. "Do not exclude them or make them feel like a little kid, as girls, for the most part, love getting dressed up and putting on makeup," she says. "They enjoy being with girls who are older role models, so let them be a part of the wedding day festivities." Also, take this into consideration when choosing their flower girl gift, and opt for something like lovely pearl earrings or a mirrored jewelry box.

Ring Bearer Age

A ring bearer is often between the ages of 6 and 12. The role of the ring bearer is relatively modern, with exact origins unclear. It's believed to have evolved from the ancient practice of carrying precious items during ceremonies. Today, the ring bearer carries the wedding rings down the aisle, symbolizing the couple's new life together, Wyndrum notes.

When selecting a ring bearer, a couple should first ask themselves if they want them to carry the official rings or decoy rings, Autem suggests, as this might help you determine whether you'd prefer an older or younger ring bearer. "Younger boys, such as those younger than 10, might not be the best age to entrust with valuable items like wedding rings," Autem says. "Older children and teens are more likely to understand the importance of being careful with a high-value item."

Best Age for Ring Bearer

The average age of a ring bearer typically falls between 6 and 12 years old, as this age range allows enough maturity to handle the task without overwhelming the child.

What Is the Age Limit for Ring Bearers?

There's no strict ring bearer age limit, however, they are typically under the age of 15. "As boys typically wear the same thing as the groomsmen, their outfits do not make them stand out as younger, so you will find young gentlemen more enthusiastic about serving as ring bearers than their female counterparts," Autem says. You could opt to have an older potential ring bearer be a junior groomsman, who participates in age-appropriate duties and helps support the groom on the wedding day.

What to Keep in Mind if Having a Younger Ring Bearer

For younger ring-bearers, making the experience fun and engaging is important, notes Strickland. "If they are doing it alone, they may not know what to do, so it's a good idea to have something fun for them to participate in," she says. "Many couples are now using creative ideas like having the ring bearer come in on an electric toy car, which not only keeps them engaged but also adds a unique touch to the ceremony."

She does warn, however, not to put the actual rings that they carry in the box, as there is a very high likelihood that they will forget or lose the rings if they are responsible for them. "Instead, give them to the best man who can keep them in their jacket pocket," she adds.

What to Keep in Mind if Having an Older Ring Bearer

With a more mature ring bearer, it is important to make him feel like one of the guys, suggests Autem. "He is likely hitting an age where they will be more into the same things as the groom and groomsmen, so at least ensure that his attire matches the adults' or get his input on his look."

It can also be nice to let an older ring bearer know how important their role is and how much it means to you that they are part of your special day. "You can offer reassurance by including them in groomsmen's activities on the day of the wedding, boosting their confidence and making them feel included," Wyndrum adds.

Determining the best age for a ring bearer or flower girl depends on various factors, including the child's personality and the wedding ceremony's length. While traditionally between 3 and 8 years old, younger or older children can also fulfill these roles with the right planning and support.