Q&A: Invitations: Addressing One to a Member of the Military?

Q: How do you address an outer envelope if the husband and wife are both in the military? What if only the husband is?

A: For couples where both spouses serve, you've got a few options depending on how much room you have on your envelopes and whether or not the couple serves in the same branch of the military:Captains Jerome and Miranda SimonsenU.S. Armyetc. Captain Jerome Simonsen, U.S. ArmyCaptain Miranda Simonsen,U.S. Navyetc. The inside envelope would say:The Captains SimonsenFor a couple where only the husband is in the military, as much as we hate that Dr. and Mrs. thing -- it's so out of date -- it seems the easiest way to go when you have a military man with a complicated title and a wife in the mix. For example, if you have Lieutenant Robert K. Jones, U.S. Navy, you could address your invite to Lieutenant and Mrs. Robert K. Jones, U.S. Navy. (The inside envelope would say Lieutenant and Mrs. Jones.) But if this patriarchal tradition bugs you as much as it bugs us (or you just think it's awkward to put the Mrs. inside this long title), you could do it this way on the outer envelope:Lieutenant Robert K. Jones, U.S. NavyBarbara JonesIt all depends on how traditional you want to be. Both ways are completely acceptable.


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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot