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Updated Mar 06, 2025Some of the Top Groom's Responsibilities for a Wedding (and How to Plan)
Grooms, this day is all about you, too.
Though there's a misconception that brides handle all of the wedding planning, you may be surprised by the groom's responsibilities for a wedding. After all, a marriage is a partnership, so why shouldn't this important day be divided up equally? Now, what is the groom in a wedding? A groom is any man entering into a marriage, whether that's with a bride, groom or spouse-to-be. And what is the groom's responsibility for a wedding? That all depends, but we're going to give you some helpful tips to get started.
There will be a few things to keep note of, like specific bride duties and the answer to the question, what does a groom's family pay for? And to make things even easier, having a wedding checklist for the groom and bride can help keep everyone on track. We spoke with two wedding planners: Nora Sheils of Bridal Bliss in Portland, Oregon, and Sarah Tapp of Seattle-based Sarah Tapp Photo and Events.
Sheils adds, "Discuss roles early on and decide who will manage what so there is no confusion as the day approaches. If you are working with a wedding planner, he/she/they should bring this up during the initial stages of planning so everyone is on the same page, working towards the common goal." So, let's get into the nitty-gritty to help you decide: What is the groom responsible for at your wedding?
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1. Assist With the Wedding Shower
You may be wondering: What is the groom's role in the bridal shower? There are no hard rules for your wedding day, and if you want a blended wedding shower rather than a bridal shower, absolutely go for it. Someone else may be throwing you one, so just be sure to coordinate together as a couple to get on the same page.
2. Shop for Wedding Day Attire
One of the biggest duties of the groom is finding his wedding day look. Knowing the best places to buy suits is a wonderful starting point, but be sure to work with your spouse-to-be to ensure your attire options match the theme, color palette, and, most importantly, don't clash with their wedding day style. To help you stay within budget for your attire, use The Knot Budget Advisor, where you can enter your marrying location and see local wedding costs while customizing your budget.
3. Choose Your Groomsmen/Groomsmaids
Sure, you may already be brainstorming some clever groomsmen group chat names, but don't get too ahead of yourself. Asking those special friends and family members to stand by your side is a big deal, so you can send a gift or box to make a grand gesture or schedule a coffee date to ask them in person.
4. Handle Honeymoon Planning
As the groom in wedding planning, it's not all about the day itself. Configuring the logistics for the honeymoon, whether that's finding an all-inclusive resort or scheduling the flights/transportation, is one responsibility that can be a little more fun. Hoping to surprise your future spouse? Take this opportunity to plan the honeymoon of their dreams.
5. Coordinate With the Band/DJ for Music
"Typically, grooms most look forward to catering tastings and music selections while wedding planning; however, there are many other essential elements where they can contribute their style and opinion," Sheils says. The groom can take charge of finding the wedding entertainment and going over any must-haves (or must-nots) on the wedding playlist. The Knot Vendor Marketplace is a simple way to find all the wedding vendors you need, including bands and DJs.
6. Select Attire for His Side of the Wedding Party
Another of your groom responsibilities after choosing your groomsmen and groomsmaids is their wedding day looks. Work with your color palette and theme to find the perfect outfits for your stylish wedding party. You'll also want to decide on any extras like boutonnieres, coordinated shoes and other accessories for a more cohesive or creative look.
7. Plan for the Food and Drinks
If you're a big foodie, then consider catering as the groom's responsibility for a wedding. You may be able to get two birds with one stone if your venue offers on-site catering or preferred vendors, so be sure to check for that. "If your groom is handling payments, utilizing an industry-specific platform like Rock Paper Coin will automate sending payments so you can make sure everything is sent on time, and you won't run into late fees," Sheils says.
8. Create His Side of the Guest List
Though you two will undoubtedly coordinate on the guest list together, drafting up your own list of friends, family and loved ones will help to estimate your guest count, catering costs and more. A few more things to factor in are any plus-ones for your wedding party (they're a must), any young children to add on invites or guests who may need to travel, meaning they may take advantage of a hotel block or accommodations.
9. Write Vows
If you two are writing your own vows, add this responsibility to the docket. For any groom wedding duties, handling your side of the vows and the vow book will ensure everyone has exactly what they need on the wedding day. Just keep your vow book in your suit pocket for easy storage.
10. Manage Vendor Contracts/Communication
If your groom is more of the take-action type, rather than focused on the tiny details, how about dealing with vendor communication and contracts? This can be especially helpful for the bride, who wants to focus on the overall design and aesthetic of the day, since the groom covers the logistics. Tapp adds, "Communicating with the rental companies about pick-up times is super helpful, so the bride doesn't have to arrange all of that."
11. Choose the Groom's Cake
As the groom, wedding planning doesn't get much sweeter than when it comes to groom's cakes. A groom's cake is the perfect opportunity to get creative with your dessert table, and it's a second choice for guests to choose from if you want to pick another cake flavor. Pull from your favorite hobbies, a special memory with your S.O. or an homage to your pets.
12. Buy Gifts For Groomsmen/Groomsmaids
Saying thank you to your wedding party for standing beside you on this most important day is a must. Personalized gifts that they can use long after the wedding day or even for the day itself are popular choices. What makes your group unique? Maybe you've all bonded over a certain video game, so how about matching socks with their handles? Or custom cuff links, tie clips—the sky's the limit.
13. Handle the Marriage License
Though both of you will likely need to be present to get the marriage license, the groom can handle making the appointment and payment. Typically, it's recommended to get it within 30 days of your marriage. And keeping up with those deadlines is a must. "To keep everything straight, use tech and automation to your advantage…You can keep a digital checklist that syncs with your calendar so reminders are sent," Sheils says.
14. Book the Rehearsal Dinner
Other than the groom's role in bach party planning, finding other pre-wedding events to manage, like the rehearsal dinner, is a wonderful way to split duties between the couple. Make sure to find a rehearsal dinner space with enough seating for your wedding party and additional guests, and book the reservation with plenty of time for your wedding rehearsal.
15. Offer Wedding Day Support
The duties of the groom on the wedding day can vary, and he may be handling a little more on the vendor side, especially if the bride is in hair and makeup. Be sure to have a wedding planning spreadsheet with all the necessary contact info for vendors, the guest list, and other pertinent information so that the groom can offer whatever support he can before the "I dos." Tapp says, "From my experience, the groom will actually sometimes be the one to do some of the setup on the day of the wedding before getting ready. So, he would be in charge of pickup for some decor rentals and then some setup—usually the ceremony arch or other heavy setup items."
16. Write Thank You Cards
After the wedding day for the groom, tackling the thank you notes together is a great way to ensure it's done more quickly. You can even handle your side of the wedding guest list. That way, each thank you card is more personalized based on your relationship with the friend or family member.
17. Play to Your Strengths
At the end of the day, every couple is different. The groom's duties for wedding planning don't have to stick to a traditional path. Perhaps your groom loves design and has an eye for detail, and you want to take a more varied approach to planning. Dividing things equally based on your talents and time to keep the process a true collaboration is the way to go. Sheils says, "Just like a marriage, planning a wedding should be a partnership!"
