When to Ask Your Bridesmaids to Be Part of Your Wedding

You just got engaged, you're over the moon and can't wait to start planning. But before you draft funny wedding party bios for your website, you need to know when to ask bridesmaids to be a part of your celebration so you can make it #official. And if you're thinking you can ask your friends to free up your schedule as soon as the engagement ring is on your finger, you might want to think twice. So if you want to know the best time to ask bridesmaids to be in your wedding, keep reading to get the answer and figure out when the maid of honor proposal happens. Once you check this off your to-do list, we promise you can go back to making creative party bios and hiring your must-have vendors.

In this article: When to Ask Bridesmaids | When to Ask Maid of Honor

When to Ask Bridesmaids

You should determine who'll be your bridesmaids 11 months (and eight months at the latest) out from the wedding, according to our 12-month planning checklist. This means you need to make a final decision of how many bridesmaids you want before you ask. (If you're having trouble picking a number, ask your partner how many attendants will be on their side of the aisle so both of you can be on the same page.)

Do You Ask Bridesmaids Before You Send Save-the-Dates?

We suggest sending your save-the-dates eight months before your wedding. This connects with your wedding party proposal timeline since it's best to ask your loved ones if they can participate before or at eight months. You'll get the chance to ask essential bridesmaids questions, like what shoes they prefer to wear and if they have any bachelorette party ideas. Plus, the proposee can have enough time to see what expenses bridesmaids pay, how much it costs to be a bridesmaid and the traditional wedding party duties involved.

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When Is Too Early to Ask Your Bridesmaids?

It's okay to be super excited after getting engaged, but two years is too early to ask bridesmaids to be in your wedding. There are so many life changes that can happen before the wedding to you and them, so it's ideal to wait until it's closer to the wedding date. Asking your loved ones to agree to be your bridesmaids more than one year out isn't realistic and can lead to them declining your offer if they don't want to commit so early. Because who knows? You might decide to have eight bridesmaids two years before your special day, but later want to downgrade to a small, intimate affair with only 10 people in attendance.

Can You Ask Your Bridesmaids Before You Have a Date?

Don't ask people to be your bridesmaids before you have an official wedding date. If you do, you're basically holding their personal calendar hostage until you make your plans and that's not fair to them. Think about it, would you want someone doing that to you? Instead, approach your desired wedding party members once you've finalized at least the month and year of your celebration so your bridesmaids can plan appropriately.

Do You Have to Present a Gift When You Ask Bridesmaids?

A bridesmaid proposal gift and card isn't a necessity, but lots of people give them as a sweet way to show love to their wedding party members. We've seen brides-to-be give gifts of all price ranges so do whatever fits your wedding budget. Have fun with this by having a gift theme that matches your affair or where the location is held.

Is the Timing the Same for When to Ask Groomsmen?

Yes, the wedding party asking timeline is the same for groomsmen and bridesmaids. So if you want to have a proposal party where all the potential attendants are present, go for it. Combining the two groups can help everyone get to know each other better before the wedding.

When to Ask Someone to Be Your Maid of Honor?

Propose to your maid of honor at the same time as your bridesmaids, which is 11 to eight months before the wedding. The maid of honor has lots of responsibilities as the right hand to the bride so let them know you want them on your team as soon as possible. This way if your number one choice can't make it you don't have to scramble looking for someone else because you asked last minute. (Psst. Some people have two or more maids of honor for this reason.)

Do You Ask Your Maid of Honor Before Your Bridesmaids?

Some to-be-weds decide to have a special one-on-one proposal for their maid of honor since this person is usually the one they're closest to. Others like to ask the maid of honor and bridesmaids together over drinks at a restaurant or their home. Either way, the choice is up to you. Since asking someone to be in your wedding party is a big ask, no matter what you do, ensure you make the moment special, put lots of thought into it and show your appreciation for their help in advance.

What If I'm Having a Short Engagement?

The average engagement length is 15 months, but if you're on a tighter schedule, don't worry. We advise picking your VIPs around 1/3 of the way through planning, which gives everyone plenty of time to keep their calendars free and get their budgets set.