Mother of the Groom Duties in Detail

If the Mother of the Groom is eager to get in on the action, here's a roundup of duties to keep her involved.
Mother of the Groom
Photo by Emily Moseley Photography

Traditionally, the bride's mother has absorbed most of the pre-wedding responsibilities, while the groom's family assumed more of a back seat. Nowadays, both moms take on a significant role in the planning process, especially if the two families are sharing the financial burden. No matter what the case, here's what's expected of the mother of the groom.

  • When the engagement is announced, call the bride's parents as soon as possible. Express your happiness and invite them over for cocktails or out to dinner.
  • Host a dinner to introduce the bride to the groom's side of the family.
  • Be aware of expenses typically covered by the groom's family and offer financial assistance, if appropriate, to the groom.
  • Offer to help scout out ceremony and wedding reception sites and ask friends for recommendations for caterers, florists, and vendors.
  • Offer to serve as the main contact for wedding professionals -- especially if the wedding is taking place in your town and the groom no longer lives there.
  • Draw up the guest list for the groom's family after asking the couple how many guests you are able to invite.
  • Help the groom choose family or ethnic traditions to incorporate into the ceremony or reception.
  • Attend bridal shower and buy a gift.
  • Obtain information on where the couple is registered and spread the word to your side of the family.
  • Consult the bride's mom on her wedding-day outfit. Shop for your own about 4-6 months before the wedding.
  • Keep track of your RSVPs and offer to make calls to obtain last-minute responses for anyone on your side of the list (3-4 weeks before the wedding).
  • Traditionally, plan and host the rehearsal dinner with the groom's dad (plan 6 months before the wedding; host the day before).
  • Stand in the receiving line after the bride and groom (along with the groom's father).
  • Sit at the parents' table (if there is one).
  • Dance with the groom during the mother/son dance.

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