Q&A: RSVPs: Where Should They Go?

Q: I haven't lived at my parent's house in years (my fiance and I have actually been living together for several). Does this make any difference as to where the RSVPs should be sent? I thought they traditionally went to the bride's parent's house.

A: Technically, invite responses should be sent to whomever is hosting the wedding, and the hosts are traditionally the people whose names are at the top of your invite -- most often the mother and father of the bride. So if your parents' names appear on the first line of your invitation, tradition dictates that they should get the response cards. If you and your fiance are hosting, you should get the cards. That's tradition, though -- now let's talk practicality. Maybe you want to get the responses directly because you have the guest list and want to check off names. In that case, it doesn't make sense for responses to go to your parent's home. Likewise, if your mom is going to keep track of the guest list, it makes more sense for responses to go to her, even if you're hosting the wedding. Do what makes the most sense for your situation -- your guests won't find it a faux pas either way.


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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot