Seven of the Most Popular Reddit Wedding Planning Questions, Answered by Us

Upvote and learn from these topics.
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chapelle johnson the knot associate editor
by
Chapelle Johnson
chapelle johnson the knot associate editor
Chapelle Johnson
Associate Editor
  • Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
  • Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
  • Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.
Updated Aug 14, 2023

Prepping for your big day comes with a lot of excitement but it also comes with questions and concerns. That's why some turn to the Reddit wedding planning thread (r/weddingplanning) for help. From asking what wedding dress they should pick to how they can include their children in their ceremony, there are numerous posts with Redditors offering their opinions. To guide you even more during the planning process, we chose the top upvoted posts and provided our wedding expertise.

Don't feel like these hot topics can't apply to you. Whether you live on Reddit or don't know much about it, any to-be-wed can find the info below insightful.

Should I Ask for a Last-Minute Plus-One?

A Reddit user was invited by an extended family member to their wedding. They admit they aren't the closest with the to-be-weds but enjoy their company when they hang out. The Reddit user has a new partner of about six months, and the relationship was still in the beginning stages when they received their wedding invitation, so they weren't shocked the invitation didn't include a plus-one. There also wasn't an option to add a plus one on the couple's wedding website. As the wedding day slowly approaches, the Reddit user wants to know if it's okay to ask for a plus-one.

Wedding Editor's Advice: The Reddit user shouldn't ask the couple for a plus-one, especially, because the relationship is so new. The fact the to-be-weds didn't provide a plus-one option in the beginning and now know the Reddit user is in this relationship (via social media) but still didn't change their minds hints at their decision being final. As the guest, you don't want to put the couple in an awkward situation where they have to say no or try hard to fit your plus-one into their wedding budget. If you can live without the plus-one being there for one night, don't make the request.

Can you relate to this Reddit wedding planning scenario and are worried about showing up alone to the event? We suggest asking around to see what mutual friends or close family members are invited to the wedding. Doing this can help you feel more comfortable since you'll know who you can socialize with ahead of time.

Can I Uninvite a Coworker to My Wedding?

This Reddit user gave save-the-dates to all their coworkers two months ago, but recently one of those coworkers quit. The Reddit user admits they aren't friends with the coworker and wouldn't have invited them to the wedding if they didn't work together. They don't want to send the old coworker an invitation but wants to avoid drama. This Reddit user wants to know if it's rude not to send them an invitation or if they should just invite them anyway.

Wedding Editor's Advice: Per wedding etiquette, it's not okay to uninvite someone who has already received a save-the-date. Not only does this come off as impolite, but it also is like you're taking back the "promise" to send them a wedding invitation. Even if you didn't send a wedding invitation, depending on the save-the-date wording, the person can assume the invitation got lost in the mail and show up at the wedding using the details on the card or your wedding website.

If the person you want to uninvite is someone you truly think will ruin your special day, we suggest you speak to them directly about your concerns. If not, our wedding planning advice for the Reddit user is to send the invitation and (secretly) cross your fingers that they don't RSVP.

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Is It Rude to Ask Guests to Pay for Their Wedding Meals?

Because of extenuating circumstances, a Reddit user says they had to shorten their engagement which means they didn't have time to save for a bigger wedding budget. This resulted in the couple deciding to have a small ceremony of 14 people and a reception with an extended guest list of a little over a dozen more people. Because of the limited funds and time, the couple is considering having the casual reception at an affordable restaurant and asking guests to pay for their own meal––with no expectation of wedding gifts and the possibility of comped drinks. The Reddit user wants to know if requesting this of their guests would be inappropriate.

Wedding Editor's Advice: Normally, asking your wedding guests to pay for their meals is a big no-no, but there are two ways the Reddit user can go about this. They can candidly inform their guests on the wedding website or in person of their situation and why guests paying for their meals will help the couple financially. From there, guests can decide if they are okay with this unconventional celebration (and the restaurant's prices). Another option is the couple can wait to have the reception until they have enough money to pay for all the guests' meals so they can keep in line with wedding etiquette.

Do I Need Kid-Friendly Activities at the Wedding?

After deciding to allow children at their wedding, a Reddit user asked if they needed to cater to the little ones at their celebration. They plan on having an adult environment and ending the event after 10 p.m. Since they're the host, they wonder if it's an expectation that child entertainment is at the reception.

Wedding Editor's Advice: Simply put, no. You aren't required to offer kid-friendly activities at your wedding just because you're inviting families. But we strongly encourage this Reddit user to have a couple of things to occupy the children. Yes, it's totally the guardian's responsibility to ensure their child doesn't cause havoc during the wedding, but helping ensure that doesn't happen makes you look super thoughtful. Whether you have the budget and space to have a designated area with toys and games or want to have activity books on each table, we guarantee these actions will aid in the children being distracted and not disrupting the wedding toasts.

Is the Price of My Wedding Normal?

A Reddit user wanted to elope but ended up having a traditional wedding, which resulted in more costs. After paying for their venue, caterer, hair, makeup, outfits for bridesmaids and groomsmen, photographer, gifts for the wedding party, DJ and much more, they spent almost $25,000 on a 100-person wedding. Because of the price point, the Reddit user feels like they possibly overspent and wants to know if this is an appropriate amount for their wedding size.

Wedding Editor's Advice: Just like every couple, every wedding is different. That means nuptials can be expensive or inexpensive depending on numerous factors. The Knot 2022 Real Weddings Study surveyed nearly 12,000 newlyweds to reveal average costs for wedding vendors, items and much more. According to the study, couples spent an average of $30,000 on their special day, which has increased by $2,000 since 2021. Couples that invited 51 to 100 people spent $24,600, which means the Reddit user's expenses are totally average. If you want to spend less than what other newlyweds are paying, check out these easy ways to save money on your wedding.

I'm Exhausted From Planning Everything Myself

It's only a few months away from a Reddit user's wedding, and instead of feeling joyous, they feel burnt out. Every aspect of planning has been on them, from choosing venues to making spreadsheets––with no help from loved ones or their soon-to-be spouse. The fiancé simply says they don't have an opinion on the wedding decisions, which leaves everything up to them. The Reddit user didn't have a bridal shower to preserve their mental health and is even planning their own bachelorette party because no one offered to. At this point, the to-be-wed feels unappreciated and overwhelmed.

Wedding Editor's Advice: If there are three wedding planning tips this Reddit user should know it's set clear expectations, always communicate and make time for self-care. Whether you and your partner are planning your big day or cleaning the house, you two must have a clear and open line of communication and speak honestly about what expectations you have for one another.

For this instance, the Reddit user should sit down with their fiancé and let them know they feel stressed and unsupported in the beginning stages of their marriage journey and that they expect, as partners, for them to assist as much as possible since it's both of their weddings. If this scenario feels familiar to you, don't be afraid to tell your partner that "it's up to you babe" isn't a helpful response during the decision-making process. Hold them accountable while being understanding since some people don't realize others need help unless they asked for it directly.

And yes, self-care has been a buzzword over the past couple of years, but it doesn't make it any less important. If you feel like wedding planning is getting the better of you, take some time with your partner (or alone) to catch up on your reading, have a spa day or watch your favorite television shows in your sweats. Do whatever makes you feel more at ease as much as possible so you can feel less stressed on your wedding day.

I'm Anxious About Not Having a Big Support System

A Reddit user feels apprehensive about possibly getting engaged to their partner because they don't have a strong social group. They have a few friends from high school, college and their religious community, but they aren't ones they've constantly kept in touch with. The thought of their partner's family realizing they don't have many friends makes them even more anxious, especially since the partner has numerous friend groups. The Reddit user wonders if they should try to make fast friends in the next couple of years or be content with their situation.

Wedding Editor's Advice: How this Reddit user is feeling is completely understandable. Having a shorter guest list than your partner can make anyone feel uncomfortable since the majority of the guests are there for their partner. But having a small social network doesn't make you a pariah. Sit down with your partner and tell them how you feel about the situation so you can address your anxiety head-on together. You can get creative with the seating charts, cut down your wedding's overall guest list and much more to ensure you both feel happy and loved on your special day.

Also, if you're willing and open, don't hesitate to join clubs, volunteer in your community or download networking apps (Hello, Bumble for Friends) to find the companionship you desire. Make a list of all your interests and research what's available locally so you can meet new people. This helps you gain more practice socializing, and you might gain a new friend or two doing what you love.

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