What to Do if Two of Your Friends Chose the Same Wedding Weekend

What happens when two engaged people in your life inadvertently choose the same wedding weekend? Well, you’re officially double-booked—and you need a plan.
by Sophie Ross
Two wedding ceremonies
JUSTINE BURSONI PHOTOGRAPHY; BEIGE WEDDINGS

In the thick of wedding season, it can feel like you have a celebration every other weekend. But what happens when two of your nearest and dearest friends in your life—from different social circles—choose the same one? (Of course they wouldn't consider each other's dates, because why would they? You might be the only mutual friend they have.)

It's not as uncommon as you think, especially when you consider the fact that on August 18, 2018, nearly 30,000 couples got married on the most popular date of the year. Surely, some of the guests and attendants had conflicts.

Either way, it's up to you to navigate the situation the moment you put the pieces together, as gut-wrenching as the realization might be. Here's what to do.

Be up front with both couples.

First and foremost, tell all parties involved (ideally via phone call and as soon as possible) that you're in a pickle. Don't put it off—be honest and tell them there's a possibility you won't be able to attend the full weekend of their nuptials. They've chosen the same wedding weekend as one of your other close friends, and you'll need some time to figure out your plan.

As difficult as that conversation might be, odds are, they'll appreciate your honesty and understand you're in a lose-lose situation.

Consider attending both in some capacity.

You're in luck if both weddings are taking place in the same city, state or general region. That way, you can try to make both weddings in some capacity.

A Sunday ceremony and reception is the best-case scenario for a double-booked weekend, since one person will likely have their wedding on Saturday. Otherwise, your best bet is to attend one rehearsal dinner on Friday and one wedding on Saturday. (You'll likely choose to attend the actual ceremony of the person you're closest with, or the wedding at which you'll know more people, if you can't decide.)

Odds are, you won't be able to attend both weddings in one day unless the timing works out perfectly. Don't count on that (you're not Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses.)

Choose one—carefully.

If there's no possible way you can attend both celebrations, you'll regretfully have to decline an invitation to one of them.

Obviously, if you're in the wedding party for one of them, that ceremony should take priority. Otherwise, it's time to—unfortunately—compare friendships. Who are you actually closest with? Who do you talk on the phone with more? Who have you known the longest? And for the record, your decision should purely be based on your relationships—not whose nuptials you think might be more extravagant.

And this should go without saying, but, don't share your decision-making process with either party for the sake of their feelings. And remember that whichever one doesn't get blessed with your presence should be blessed with an awesome gift from you, at the very least.

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