4 Things Black Wedding Pros Want You to Know

Planning a wedding (alongside preparing for a marriage) is a very exciting chapter in life, but the most exhilarating portion was creating a custom event that we would never forget. Like, c'mon, how often do you get to oversee every single detail of one perfect day? Not often.

According to Vox, the wedding industry is currently valued at $3 billion a year in the US ($72 billion globally)—so, once presented with the opportunity to plan a new ceremony after cancelling our larger one, it was really important for my fiance (now husband) and myself to make a very conscious effort to spend our money with vendors who looked like us.

I was inspired not only by the Black Lives Matter Movement and the 15% Pledge to reconsider my spending habits, but by another bride, Danielle Cadet-Wiggins, who made a very concerted effort to make sure her dollars stayed within her community. Below, I spoke to a few of my wedding vendors who made our big day superb to share their candid advice about what couples should be thinking about this wedding season and beyond.

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Give Yourself Grace

As a bride herself who had to postpone her wedding herself, founder and CEO of Honey + Vinyl, Keanna J. O'Quinn, reminds other couples to give themselves grace — especially as they navigate the unknown of pushing forward, postponing, or potentially cancelling their nuptials all together. On a personal note, we decided to push forward with a local ceremony of 30 of our closest friends and family members, and had the remainder of our guests join via Zoom.

"My advice would be to do what feels best for you and your partner. There's no such thing as best practices right now because none of us have ever experienced a pandemic," she explains. "Talk with your partner about real life things like changes in work, finances, long and short term goals. Once you're on the same page, then consider new wedding plans that align with the new real life things."

Another simple mantra she embraces is to just flow—which we did. As upsetting as it initially may have been to switch things up months before our original date, we had to push forward and roll with the punches. Hint: a kicka** planner (ours was Fallon Carter Events) can alleviate some pain points.

"No one knows really has anything figured out right now," emphasizes O'Quinn. "Plan as best you can and leave room for the unexpected. Cry it out. Work out. Get things done on the days when you feel productive. And rest on the days when you don't. The best thing you can do during any challenging season is take good care of yourself."

Do It Your Way

Founder and Creative Director of Odylyne The Ceremony, Stephanie White, was inspired to create a collection of what she calls "anti-bridal" gowns after being frustrated with the limited options available during her search. "Every appointment that I had I was walking out the room in a mermaid or cupcake style gown. None of those styles ever felt like me and it didn't hit until about three years later that I should change that for future brides." I can attest to this experience — especially after trying on upwards of 20+ dresses and ultimately landing on something very understated but still chic by White (included a beautiful embroidered cape instead of a veil).

With many couples shifting their focus to smaller, more intimate ceremonies and receptions, she suggests brides lean into exactly what they want — and shake off societal norms. "From experience, I have had so many brides feel so distraught with canceling their weddings but then decided not to let COVID take over their moment," she shares. "While some have pushed back to 2021, we have had a rise in our gowns that fit a civil ceremony or a backyard wedding."

"Recently, I just had a bride who planned to get married in France. After cancelling their wedding, they decided to get married at the courthouse with an intimate ceremony afterwards. Now she is pregnant and celebrating their baby announcement. In these moments, you realize that life is really good and every moment can be viewed as a grateful one."

Be Flexible and Supportive

With under 7 years under her belt, founder and lead filmmaker, Nikki Miller of Mae B. Films knows how to capture some of the most intimate moments between couples. However, when the outbreak hit, she had to juggle being empathetic of those navigating the "new normal" and considering what it meant for her business overall. "I was truly just trying to be as supportive to my couples as I could. Early on they were navigating some really tough situations," she explains. "As of today, I'm happily capturing the smaller weddings of couples that are choosing to still marry this year."

Being flexible can minimize stress and give yourself some perspective as well— remember wedding vendors are also navigating changes with multiple couples at the same time. Myself and my now husband over-communicated to our past and new vendors to make sure we were being super transparent about budget, new plans, and priorities given the new circumstances.

"We as your vendors are here to support you in any way that we can," Miller adds. "That being said, a lot of times, we're solopreneurs and we count on the income we make serving our wonderful couples to support our family. It's so important that we collaborate as a vendor/client team and try to meet one another halfway as much as possible."

Pro makeup artist and owner of Melaskin Studio Lakeisha Dale, agrees. "Keep the communication open," she shares. Most of the time vendors are happy to accommodate you. And if for any reason they can't, they'll be the best person to refer to someone else who can."

Keep Your Original Date If Possible (and Switch It Up)

Change can be inevitable, however Brooklyn Blooms owner and principal floral designer, LaParis Phillips things some things, like your wedding date, can keep your spirits uplifted. "There's nothing wrong with having a small celebration and keeping the original date. We get so lost in all the particulars when at the end of the day it's about you, your partner, and loved ones. I love the intimate gatherings that couples are having these days!"

As hard as it was for us to cut the guest list, ultimately we knew that we needed to get married in a certain timeline to keep things moving. Thankfully due to some of the prep work we did for our larger wedding version, those elements could be carried over to our new nuptials — and offer some wiggle room to think outside the box. For example, at my wedding Phillips incorporated fruits, veggies, and succulents into our tablescape.

Founder and Designer of White Space Jewelry, Khadijah Fulton, mirrors this sentiment. "If you're upfront and honest [with your vendors] and give a heads up as soon as you know your plans may be changing. That will give your vendors an opportunity to work with you as much as possible to find a solution," she explains. "Maybe there is a variation on what you were originally planning that could still be done—or there could be another way you could work together enabling you to work something out that feels fair for both of you."