Soulmate Relationships: How to Know If You've Found the One

These signs could indicate that you're with your one true love.
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Photo: Alina Rudya/Bell Collective / Getty Images
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Elizabeth Ayoola
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Elizabeth Ayoola
The Knot Contributor
  • Elizabeth contributes a range of lifestyle content to The Knot.
  • She also works as a full-time writer at NerdWallet and contributing writer at ESSENCE and POPSUGAR.
  • Elizabeth has a degree in Environment, Politics, and Globalization from King's College London.
Updated Feb 12, 2024

Many people are hoping to find a rare and timeless love if they haven't already. Some describe this rare and poignant type of love as a soulmate connection. The term soulmate dates back as far as 1822 when it was used by poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Some argue it goes even further back to the Symposium, which is dialogue written by Plato around 385 B.C.

How do you know when you've met your soulmate? What are some undeniable signs that you've met the one? Jasmine Lancaster, a relationship coach, shares the answers to these questions and more.

In this article:

What is a Soulmate Connection?

What is the definition of a soulmate? While there isn't an official definition, it is often described as someone you have a unique connection with. While soulmates can be romantic connections, some consider friends soulmates too.

Lancaster defines a soulmate as someone who fits your temperament perfectly. "It would kind of be like that person that is your ideal fit," she says. "It would just be that person that kind of fits like a puzzle piece."

While there are many beliefs about what a soulmate is there are equally as many misconceptions. A common misconception people have about soulmates is that they'll complete you, says Lancaster.

"I think that's totally false because no one's going to complete you," she says. "You are a sovereign being and your own body and this human experience."

The idea that there's only a single soulmate out there for you is another common misconception people have, says Lancaster.

How to Know if Someone Is Your Soulmate

If you haven't yet met your soulmate, you may be wondering what the experience will be like and how to be sure. One way is if you have a mind, body and soul connection with someone you've met. Another sign may be if you notice a sustained connection with this person that you rarely have with other people. For instance, if you don't easily sexually connect with people but find you meet someone you sexually connect to with ease, it could be a sign, says Lancaster.

However,if you don't have a clear understanding of who you are and where you're most closed and open, it may be hard to know this.

"I think it really comes down to understanding yourself on a deeper level and really figuring out where do I operate from as my primary way of being in the world," Lancaster says.

It's also important to be able to differentiate between a unique soulmate connection and a toxic one. Sometimes a connection can be unique but it may be a trauma bond or unhealthy.

If you're struggling with self-trust because you thought a past partner was a soulmate and it proved not to be the case, it's important to acknowledge your experience and heal it. That can help rebuild your self-trust so when your soulmate comes along, you trust your intuition.

"We have to be able to see it as a lesson and incorporate what we learned from that partner to kind of forgive and forget," says Lancaster. She also adds that being open and optimistic despite past hurt is important. "You have to start believing it's possible to meet someone that's a good fit for you because if not, you're gonna be trapped in the stories, the beliefs, the emotions and the thoughts that it's not possible for me.

Soulmate vs. Twin Flame

The main difference between a twin flame and soulmate is that twin flames are there to ignite a deep awakening in you versus being a "puzzle piece fit for you" Lancaster explains. "...And so that twin flame can be that person to bring you onto a new path, to bump into your energy," she says.

Soulmates, on the other hand, are an emotional connection that doesn't necessarily help you realize a deep awakening.

How to Find Your Soulmate

Being authentic, being sensual and being emotionally available are three ways to find your soulmate, explains Lancaster. Starting with authenticity, it's about showing up in the world as your true and full self. Lancaster gives an example of finding a quirky thing about you and being open to showing that side of you.

"When we're open to revealing that part of ourselves, we open up a floodgate of possibilities of other people that are being authentic," she says. Additionally, Lancaster talks about being sensual, because it's a portal to pleasure and sexual energy, which has the power to help you create the reality you want, soulmate relationships included.

Finally, being emotionally available is a way to attract your soulmate.

"When we're emotionally available, we're emotionally vulnerable and that opens up a door again for potential partners to be emotionally vulnerable with us because part of who we attract is people that are helping us heal our wounds."

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