Q&A: RSVPs: Are Response Cards Required?

Q: My mother is very much against response cards. Since she is paying for the invitations, she didn't order response cards -- she thinks they are tacky. What should I do if people don't reply? Should I call them?

A: Chances are not everyone will know they are supposed to write a formal note in response to your invite. Did you talk to your mom about this practical reason? This is pretty much why response cards were invented. It's definitely true that it may be harder to get your head count when you need it without response cards -- and yes, it's fine to call guests who haven't RSVP'd to ask if they're coming. (Make sure Mom pitches in with phone calls, too!) As far as hotel reservations, you might want to send a separate mailing to guests who will need reservations, so you can start preparing without waiting until the response date to call them. This mailing can be as simple as a sheet of paper composed on your computer and printed out.

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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot