The Order of Dances at a Wedding to Follow
Planning your wedding reception timeline can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to organizing the order of dances at the wedding. Should you start with your first dance or save it for later? Where do cultural dances fit in? What if your guests aren't exactly flocking to the dance floor? Don't worry—we've got the answers.
With expert input from Gabrielle Traub, wedding planner at The Wedding Plan and Company based in Hoboken, New Jersey, we'll walk you through the order of dances at a wedding reception, from your first dance to the final send-off.
The Most Common Order of Dances
"In our experience," Traub says, "the order of formal dances will often depend on if the couple is using a DJ or a band, and how the venue would run dinner service." In Western traditions, what Traub sees the most is either frontloading everything (typically with a DJ) in this order:
First dance
Father/daughter
Mother/son
Right into speeches
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Using any cultural dances to kick off a dance set post-speeches
Or with things a bit more spread out (with a band):
First dance
Going right into a dance set
Guests seated for first course and speeches
Putting the parent dances later in the evening to kick off a later dance set
There are exceptions to every rule, she says adding, "We as a company always encourage our couples to do what is best for them." Because every couple and every wedding is different, the flow of the event will be too. But generally speaking, here's the traditional order of dances at a wedding.
1. The First Dance
The order of the first dance at a wedding is, usually, you've guessed it—first. Right after the wedding party and couple are introduced, typically they'll take to the dance floor for the highly anticipated moment. To keep the momentum going and energy high, most couples opt to do this dance right out the gate, right after they're introduced by the DJ or emcee. It sets the tone for the evening and is typically performed to what will (going forward) always be known as their wedding song.
2. Parent Dances
After the first dance, the spotlight shifts to the parents—father-daughter, mother-son dances, and of course combinations too, depending on the unique makeup of each family. Typically, the order of parent dances at a wedding can either follow the first dance or be scheduled later to kick off another dance set—it depends on the flow of the evening. Need ideas? Check out these father-daughter dance songs or mother-son dance songs.
3. Cultural Dances
To honor cultural traditions, dances like the Hora dance or money dance wedding tradition can happen at various points in the evening. Traub says, "The Hora we see the most done right after either the first dance or parent dances to get everyone on the dance floor to kick off a dance set." As for money dances, she says that they're, "also a great way to kick off a dance set after one of the courses or in the reverse to have it as a final dance before having guests seated." These dances typically last 5–10 minutes, depending on your tradition.
4. Anniversary Dance
This is a sweet tradition where all married couples are invited to the dance floor. As the song progresses, couples are asked to leave based on how long they've been married, leaving the longest-married couple at the end. They're a fun way to honor love while also transitioning guests back to their seats for a plated dinner.
5. Open Dancing
Once the formalities are done, it's time to party. The music plays, the dance floor opens and usually, this is when everyone in attendance is encouraged to dance the night away. Keep the energy going with these wedding dance floor ideas.
6. Choreographed Performances
Choreographed dances often take center stage after speeches or between dinner courses. Whether the couple has worked with a choreographer to put on a performance or is performing cultural dances, they can really take place at any time but are best while guests are seated and can shift attention to the dance floor.
Traub explains "In the Indian traditions we see the most done at the sangeet, however, we also have a lot of couples (especially our fusion wedding couples) that will include these in their wedding reception as well. These can be right after any formal speeches or another great way to kick off a dance set."
7. Bouquet Toss and Garter Retrieval
These playful traditions typically happen later in the evening. Traub recommends pairing the bouquet and garter toss with your cake cutting (and a sweet cake-cutting song) for a smooth transition.
8. The Final Dance
End the night on a high note with a final dance that reflects your love story. The last dance is your chance to bring everyone together one more time—whether it's a romantic ballad or an upbeat party anthem, it's the perfect way to close out your reception.
What About the YMCA?
Unfortunately, once-considered traditional dances like the "Electric Slide," "Cha-Cha-Slide" or other pop-culture-inspired line dances seem to be a thing of the past, Traub says. "In our experience, most of our couples do not want them at weddings," she says, noting, "exceptions being songs like 'Shout' and 'YMCA' (though both are very polarizing—some couples love them, and some hate them!)"
Should You Take Dance Lessons?
Why take dance lessons? Well, why not? If you're feeling nervous about the first dance or want to perfect a cultural tradition, dance lessons can help. Use The Knot Vendor Marketplace to find instructors near you. Just enter your location and filter by music genres or cultural dances to find the perfect match.
By following this guide and Traub's expert advice, you'll create an order of dancing at your wedding reception that flows seamlessly while celebrating your unique love story. And remember—as Traub puts it, "The only rule in wedding planning is that there are no rules!"