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Updated Apr 28, 20267 Secrets Your Wedding Party Won't Tell You
Here's what they wish you knew.
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Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could read your bridesmaids' minds? You'd know exactly how they feel about the outfits you suggested, the bridal shower theme you proposed and whether or not they think you're overreacting to that RSVP hiccup. But that's why you have us—to unearth the secrets your bridal party might be keeping from you to avoid hurting your feelings or stressing you out. Here are a few things they might not reveal along the way.
1. They don't want to pay for those extra (crazy) costs.
When your loved ones sign on to be in your crew, they're knowingly taking on a few expected expenses. These include travel to and from your wedding location, their wedding day outfits and bridal shower and bachelorette party costs. But they're probably expecting you to treat them to things that are a) typically gifts, b) something extra you specifically requested or c) costs you never mentioned from the get-go. This could be anything from cute getting-ready robes to professional day-of hair and makeup and transportation. While they know they'll have to cover their fair share, help them out by curbing those last-minute financial requests—because it's likely they're too polite to say anything themselves.
2. They're not huge fans of the bridesmaid dresses you chose.
We know it's your day, but don't forget to be considerate, especially when it comes to choosing your wedding party's ensemble. You may have a bridesmaid too shy to tell you the neckline you prefer won't flatter her larger chest—and that she'll be really uncomfortable and fidgeting the entire day. Or maybe the entire squad is super confused as to why you chose a color that's universally unflattering. They might be too tactful to say anything (they love you after all), but that won't stop them from wondering what the heck is going on. To avoid any tension, consider letting everyone choose their own dresses in a similar color scheme or customizing a particular dress with a neckline, length and silhouette that suits their figure.
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3. A few of them aren't getting along.
It's possible there's a little tension in the group—what else can you expect when varying circles of friends and family get tossed in together? Honestly, their keeping this from you might be one of those blessings in diguise, since under-the-radar wedding party drama is probably something you're better off not knowing about. But at the same time, you might be the only person who can step in and tell your crew to cool it. Just keep an eye out to ensure everyone's sharing responsibilities equally, playing nice and remembering this is supposed to be fun.
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4. They want you to make a decision—please.
Are you a chill bride? Good for you. But there is such as thing as being too chill. If your group chat is blowing up with your squad's suggestions and questions, don't leave them hanging. You'll need to give the final verdict on things like your bachelorette party location, dress options, wedding transportation and hotel rooms, so jump in and give them your blessing so they can start planning, ordering, booking and renting everything they need to. Help them help you, you know?
5. You're being bossy.
So, maybe you're not a chill bride and that's fine—as long as you don't start morphing into a full-on bridezilla. Your wedding attendants don't appreciate being ordered around like minions, forced to spend money they don't have or made to do things they're uncomfortable with. Asking them to stamp and address 300 save-the-dates in one afternoon while you get a "necessary" spray tan is pretty uncool—but they're probably too afraid you'll snap if they ask you to lighten up.
6. You're overreacting.
Your bridesmaids love you and know one of their most important jobs is to be there for you when emotions run high. But they're only human and there's only so much they can do, so if you start having a full-blown meltdown (you know, sassing your seamstress and threatening the caterers), they'll be less inclined to help talk you off a ledge. Pick your battles and keep yourself in check as best as you can, otherwise, you'll be on your own.
7. Sometimes they need a break from wedding talk.
Your wedding is exciting and your wedding planning is important—but it's not the only thing going on in the world or in your friends' lives. Yes, there are times when it's both fun and necessary to talk table linens and engagement party details with them (that's why they're there!). But there's also a limit to how much wedding chatter anyone can take, especially when it's not their wedding. Try to catch yourself before making every conversation with them a "me, me, me" situation.
