Engagement Announcement Etiquette If Loved Ones Are Also Engaged

Don't steal their thunder.
Jessica Estrada - The Knot Contributor.
by
Jessica Estrada
Jessica Estrada - The Knot Contributor.
Jessica Estrada
The Knot Contributor
  • Jessica contributes wedding planning, wedding etiquette and relationship content to The Knot.
  • She also covers lifestyle and wellness topics for print and digital publications such Refinery29, Bustle, Well + Good, Cosmopolitan, Byrdie, The Zoe Report, The Cut and more.
  • Jessica has a journalism degree from Cal State University, Northridge and is certified as a life and success coach.
Updated Jun 26, 2023

When you and your partner are newly engaged, you are eager to share the happy news with friends and family. However, if you have loved ones, such as siblings, cousins or close friends, who also recently got engaged or are getting married soon, you may be wondering about the appropriate engagement announcement etiquette. For example, when should you announce your engagement? How should you handle initial wedding planning steps when loved ones may have similar wedding timelines? To help answer these questions and provide a step-by-step guide for what to do after getting engaged, we chatted with a wedding planner on how to best navigate the situation while ensuring you, your future spouse and your loved ones have your moments in the spotlight.

In this article:

When to Announce Your Engagement If Your Loved One Just Got Engaged?

So first things first, when should you announce your engagement? Read on for just engaged tips on deciding when the right time is while considering the other couple's feelings.

Wait at least a month.

Some engagement announcement 101: There is no precise, perfect time as to when it is best to announce your engagement. However, if there is another couple in your life who is getting married soon, wedding planner Brittany Bauer of Brittany Bauer Events recommends doing so a month before or a month after the couple's wedding. "A month before a wedding is enough to buffer the anticipation and build-up of the wedding day is still happening for most of the guests, and a month after is more than enough time to allow for the 'confetti to settle' from a wedding day," she says. "You really want your engagement to stand out and not be tied to your loved ones' wedding day."

Chat with your loved ones.

According to real couples, it can feel quite upsetting for some people when loved ones announce their engagement shortly after theirs. So use your best judgment in considering their feelings as you tell friends and family that you're engaged. When in doubt, Bauer suggests chatting with the couple regarding when they plan to announce their engagement on Instagram and other social media platforms, if they haven't already, to ensure you are not announcing simultaneously. As for what to say when announcing your engagement, Bauer advises not referencing the other couple's engagement or upcoming wedding, as your announcement is about your milestone.

Never announce at their big events.

So while there is no one "right" time to announce your engagement according to etiquette, there are times to definitely avoid sharing your happy news, and that's at your loved one's special events, similar to the advice: don't propose at someone's wedding. "It's never appropriate to announce your engagement at your loved ones wedding-related events such as their wedding shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, etc.," says wedding planner Betsy Renehan of Betty Jane and CO. She suggests avoiding the week of or the following week after the couple's big events so they can have their deserved spotlight.

What to Keep in Mind When Your Loved Ones Are Also Engaged

Here's how to best approach wedding planning nuances such as timing and dates when you and your fiance know another couple who is also engaged.

Have an open conversation.

As you start your wedding planning, such as getting your engagement party planning checklist ready, Bauer recommends conversing with the soon-to-be-married couple about their timeframe, plans, guest list, aesthetics and desires to avoid overlap. "Having this discussion will actually further open the dialogue to help avoid overbooking mutual guests for other events such as the wedding shower, engagement party, wedding dates, etc., which could result in scheduling conflicts in the future," she says. Renehan seconds this advice and adds that a conversation about your thoughts and plans for your special day is the most effective way to best plan all your wedding-related events while avoiding conflicts. Overall, Renehan advises approaching the situation with "grace, maturity, flexibility and, again, communication."

Plan collaboratively.

Beyond having honest conversations around wedding planning, Renehan suggests taking it a step further and planning collaboratively with the other couple while maintaining that open line of communication. "Have an 'addressing save the date' party or have a girls' night out to talk about all things wedding planning when you have burned your partner's ear off about all things planning," Renehan says. "Lean into your commonality of planning one of the happiest times of your life at the same time as a loved one, and work together on wedding planning tasks."

Be open and flexible.

Most importantly, being open and flexible is essential as you navigate the dual engagement situation. "Being flexible in your decision is the smartest way to work around planning your wedding simultaneously with loved ones," Renehan says. "Instead of focusing on what you cannot do because you may conflict with others, focus on what you can do." And lastly, she adds, "Be a cheerleader for one another" and respect their desires even when they don't align with yours.

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