Here's How to Be a Good Girlfriend to Your Partner

Whether it's almost the International Day of Love (aka Valentine's Day) or you're looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, you might wonder how to be a good girlfriend. But here's a fun fact: Cupid doesn't have to be shooting arrows for you to learn how to show up as the best, most charming version of yourself for your other half; that can come any time of the year.

"We're humans, and we are meant to evolve," Violet H. Mwandenga, a life coach with Unique J Life Coach tells The Knot. "As your relationship changes, it's important for the both of you to rise to the occasion to meet their various needs and to ensure that you aren't losing yourself in the process."

It's true: We should all strive to be our best for ourselves and our partners. But what does it mean to be a good girlfriend in a relationship? Sure, we should always seek to listen, offer empathy and lead by being a safe place. Plus, setting boundaries is another. But for all the know-how on good girlfriend tips and tricks, we've compiled a list of our best expert-approved advice below.

1. Seek Out Therapy

If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend in a relationship, sometimes, the answer starts less with building your relationship skills with your partner and, instead, building your relationship with yourself. That can start with therapy. "Go to individual therapy. The better you are as a person, the more you can provide in relationships," Mwandenga says.

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2. Be Nimble

Sometimes, your relationships morph and look very different due to sickness, life or just different phases of your career. Whatever it is, be nimble. According to Mwandenga, trying to be okay with not having the same relationship is helpful—and can leave you both feeling like wonderful, evolving partners who grow and change together.

3. Communication is Key

Remember: Of all the tips on how to be a good girlfriend, prioritizing communication is one of the highest of all. "Use your words. No one can read your mind. If you need more or less of something, just say it," she also says. Your partner will appreciate knowing it, too.

4. Ask for Feedback

Constructive criticism should be welcomed. Ask your partner if you're meeting their needs or if there is an area that could use some help.

5. Take Care of Yourself

Just because you're campaigning for Girlfriend of the Year doesn't mean you should ever lose sight of taking care of yourself. While it might feel easy to lose yourself in maintaining a relationship, the more responsible thing to do is to take care of yourself, too. There is more to life than your relationship—and your partner wants you to take care of you, too.

6. Have Other Relationships

The award for how to be a good girlfriend goes to? You! But it doesn't mean you shouldn't have other relationships. "Oftentimes, we look to our partners to be our everything," Mwandenga explains, "And that's too much for any one person. Diversify your circle and have other relationships with friends and family."

7. Spice Things Up

Another great way to strengthen your relationship? Try to make it a point to do different things and spice things up. After all, it's easy to get caught up in the rat race of work and home life, but they'll really appreciate it when you book a staycation or take them for a meal at a new local restaurant.

8. Do Things Together

Cook, read a book, binge-watch a show—anything works. It's also important to schedule regular date nights, whether out on the town or at home.

9. Always Make Time for Yourself

No matter what, being a good girlfriend doesn't just mean showering your partner with love but also making time for yourself. Don't ignore self-care—at the end of the day, you matter.

10. Be Honest

Honesty is always the best policy. Especially when it comes to your most intimate of relationships. Plus, when you're honest with your honey, you can improve your relationship and show them just how much you care. They'll really appreciate it.