Therapists Share 12 Relationship Goals to Strengthen Your Partnership

Every relationship goes through its share of emotional highs and trying times, but the biggest flex is staying the course and leaning into each other as you navigate whatever life cooks up. Setting clear relationship goals and working toward them as a team is one of the best ways to do this. Doing so unites you two, improves your communication, changes your perspective and outlook for the better, and can even give you joyful milestones to look forward to and celebrate.

We reached out to a handful of relationship therapists who've worked with countless couples to explore the topic of long-term relationship goals and why they're so important. We've also compiled a list of the best relationship goals you two can get started on as soon as today.

In this article:

• What are Relationship Goals?
• Why You Should Set Relationship Goals
• How to Set Relationship Goals
• 12 Examples of Relationship Goals

What are Relationship Goals?

Relationship goals are the shared intentions you and your partner set for how you want the relationship to evolve. "Think of it as creating your own relationship culture," says Stevie Blum, LCSW, a psychotherapist and relationship specialist. "What is it that you care about? What is it that you're working toward? How do you plan to stay connected and grow both as individuals and as a couple?"

Setting goals as a couple means taking time to discuss your core values, preferred rhythm of life, and rituals you want to pursue both in the short and long term. These goals can be about anything from communication to intimacy to finances to life planning—essentially anything that helps you grow together intentionally.

Why You Should Set Relationship Goals

Setting goals in a relationship helps you feel like a united front and ensures you're growing in a healthy, intentional way. Without creating shared goals as a couple, it's easy to fall into patterns that don't serve your partnership or get stuck in a rut without healthy, fulfilling progress.

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"Having clear, defined goals creates a guidepost to return to when the relationship experiences duress," Blum says. "It also ensures the relationship never strays too far in the wrong direction, because there is a shared language and understanding of what is important and how to stay connected."

How to Set Relationship Goals

Before setting goals as a couple, Blum recommends each partner set aside time to truly reflect on what they value and what they need from the relationship. Having this clarity allows you to convey your needs and ensures the conversation is productive.

"Start the conversation off with a general relationship check-in about how both people feel about the relationship. What's working and what can be improved," Blum says. "Normalize a culture of feedback in which honest communication is seen as an act of love, not a criticism."

Next, communicate what feels important to maintain a strong, vibrant, and healthy relationship. From there, you can identify goals that are both meaningful and doable, and establish a framework for holding each other accountable for working toward these goals.

12 Examples of Relationship Goals

The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on love, respect, trust and honesty. Communication is key for a healthy relationship, and different topics need to be discussed in different environments, at different frequencies, says licensed psychologist Marlene L. Schoen, PhD. Here are some relationship goals examples to help get you started on your own personalized goals.

Establish Daily Check-Ins

Let's start with something small. "Daily check-ins help couples stay connected in real time amid busy schedules and daily demands," Schoen says. "At the end of each day, be sure to ask your partner, 'How was your day? Specifically, what went well today or what was challenging?'" Make sure you're listening, demonstrating interest and supporting their problem-solving.

Embrace Curiosity Over Assumption

Commit to asking each other thoughtful questions regularly about dreams, fears, past experiences and daily life, says Constance Sheehan, PhD, LCSW. "Do 'whole-body listening.' Take a breath, arrive in your body. Put away distractions and listen to the content and what you imagine the nuanced meaning might be with an open mind and heart," she says. "Find an empathic understanding of what your partner reveals and hold a curious stance instead of going right toward certainty."

Make Big Decisions Together

Part of being in a relationship is that you team up to make big decisions. ​​That said, from moving in to making that big purchase to saying yes to that friends' trip, making major choices as a team can bring you closer together. Create space for both of your perspectives and be willing to compromise. This helps avoid resentment and builds a foundation of shared values and strong relationship skills.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zones

Regularly step outside of your comfort zones as a couple, try a new activity, initiate a difficult conversation or take a calculated risk together, like taking a new route, traveling somewhere exciting, eating new cuisine or saying yes to that new job. Sheehan says, "Emotional and experiential discomfort is often the gateway to deeper growth—and better sex! Facing the unknown builds trust and mutual support."

Plan Weekly Dates

Romance can quickly fall to the wayside when life's day-to-day takes over. That's why it's important to intentionally spend quality time together. Schoen suggests setting a fun relationship goal of having a weekly date night where you two can kick back and enjoy each other's company. "It's important to create space to show each other affection and kindle your romance on a regular basis," Schoen says.

Align on Your Finances

Money is a frequent area of conflict between couples, especially when you begin to share finances. Setting clear financial goals to work toward together—and routinely talking about money—can clear the elephant in the room and help you feel like a united front.

"Make a goal to meet every six months to discuss spending, budgeting and savings," Schoen advises. "Think of it as a business meeting between partners, and come prepared with topics to discuss and your laptops ready to dig into any details."

Create Shared Rituals

From the tiniest things—like picking up coffee together on Saturday morning to having a bedtime routine—shared rituals keep you close. These small, repeatable moments create comfort and stability, and you can rely on them to keep you feeling steady even in chaotic seasons of life.

Carve Out Monthly One-on-One Time

Along with daily check-ins and weekly fun dates, another relationship goal example is to carve out some one-on-one time each month to discuss some of the not-so-glamorous aspects of the relationship, Schoen advises. She says to ask the tough questions, like "How do you feel about our... communication, roles, intimacy, boundaries, children, in-laws?"

Accept Uncertainty

One of the toughest parts of life is facing uncertainty. This is true both in our personal lives and relationships. "Acknowledge and accept that not all answers are immediate, and not all paths are clear—from career moves to family planning," Sheehan says. "Tolerating the unknown together fosters teamwork, resilience and shared growth. Uncertainty becomes a shared adventure, not a threat."

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude goes a long way in making your partner feel seen and valued, even if you're just saying "Thanks for folding that load of laundry" or "I'm grateful you always keep us stocked on groceries." The point: Don't wait for big milestones and celebrate the small, everyday things like making coffee or offering emotional support.

Encourage Independent Growth

Support each other's curiosity-driven goals—both personal and professional—even when they lead in unpredictable directions. "We often attempt to predict our partners to ensure safety," Sheehan says. "Instead, allow for a full range of emotional expression and drop judgment when you fear that you don't know these parts of your partner or self."

Develop a Shared Language Around Stress

When we're feeling stressed or anxious, it's easy to snap at our partner or avoid communicating altogether. An excellent relationship goal is to create a sense of safety and a shared language in the face of stress. "Create a way to talk about discomfort without judgment or avoidance—use humor, metaphor or rituals that help you 'name the unknown,'" Sheehan says. Couples who can openly speak of fear and ambiguity reduce the power of anxiety and build emotional agility.