Exactly How to Know if You're Ready for Marriage

You've been dating a while, you've met their family and maybe you even moved in together. You know you thrive in a committed relationship, but how to know if you're ready for marriage is a whole different deal. For Mollie Candib, a psychotherapist and owner of MSC Therapy based in New York City, knowing if you're ready for marriage comes from having a strong foundation of trust, mutual respect and shared commitment to making the partnership work—but other relationship green flags could point toward the altar too.

How do you know that you're ready for marriage​? Is there a way to recognize how you know you want to marry someone? With expertise from Candib and The Knot, we've got the answers you're looking for.

In this article: How to Know if You're Ready for Marriage | Signs to Look For | What to Avoid

How to Know if You're Ready for Marriage

A tale as old as time: You spend a few years with someone only to wonder if the two of you should take that next step or if marriage just isn't for you as a couple. Luckily, there are tried-and-true ways to know if you're ready for marriage. Here's the TL;DR:

• Understanding: "A couple is ready for marriage when they have a deep understanding of each other's values, life goals and expectations for the future," Candib says.
• Communication: Communication is essential for resolving conflicts in a healthy manner, but it doesn't always come naturally to every couple—and that's totally okay. You can always tap in outside help, like a Relationship Expert from OurRitual, to help you work through any communication breakdowns.
• Mutual trust and respect: When you have a strong foundation of trust, mutual respect, shared commitment and a feeling of being fully known by your partner, then it's quite possible that you are ready for marriage, you just have to have the courage to take that leap into marital bliss.

Signs Your Relationship Is Ready for Marriage

Am I ready for marriage? If you're still not sure how to tell if you're ready for marriage, that's OK—there are signs to look out for that might help you. Also, it's worth noting that getting ready for marriage can take a little time, and that's totally okay.

1. You and Your Partner Have Discussed Marriage

Perhaps the number one sign of how you know you want to marry someone is if you've actually discussed it. It's called having "future vision." For Candib, if you're talking about visions for the future, like potentially getting hitched, it's a pretty good indicator of how to know you're ready for marriage.

2. You Get Along With Each Other's Family and Friends

Another big sign: You both get along with each other's family and friends. According to the most recent The Knot Relationships & Intimacy Study, 47% of folks said they knew they were ready for the big commitment when they were able to introduce them to their closest family and friends. Of course, everyone's family situation is different. But if you and your partner are meeting each others' closest circle of people, that's a pretty significant sign that you're both ready for marriage.

3. You Both Want (or Don't Want) Children

Maybe you both really want to start a family—or maybe you don't. Either way, if you share core values like this, Candib says that it could be a marker of how to tell if you're ready for marriage. Plus, 50% of folks knew they were ready for marriage when their partner expressed wanting to have children or didn't and it matched up with their own wishes, according to the study by The Knot.

4. You Have Open Communication

How do you know when to marry someone? As they say, communication is key, and 68% of folks in The Knot study expressed that they saw marriage in sight when it felt both easy and enjoyable to talk to their partner all the time. "If both partners feel comfortable discussing anything, from daily routines to deep-seated fears and aspirations, without fear of judgment, then it's a go," Candib says.

5. You Resolve Conflicts Together

Another way to tell if you're ready for marriage? Candib says that if you and your partner handle disagreements with respect, without resorting to blame or hurtful behavior and are willing to compromise, then that's a pretty great sign. For some extra guidance from a professional, give OurRitual a try. The online platform aims to help couples reach their full relationship potential through personalized matching with a Relationship Expert to talk through sticky situations, plus offers additional digital tools and AI-backed tech to keep your good work going in between sessions (the session schedule is flexible, by the way). Bonus: You can save 25% on the first month of your subscription with code: THEKNOT25.

6. You Trust Each Other Deeply

We've all been in relationships, romantic or not, where trust has been broken. But when you know you're ready for marriage the trust is strong. You and your partner are honest with each other about everything: your feelings, thoughts and even actions.

7. You Support Each Other

Do you and your partner support each other's individual growth? Are you excited about growing together as a team? It turns out, Candib explains, this is another way to tell if you're ready for marriage or not.

8. Your Sex Life Is What You Want It to Be

In The Knot study, 67% of folks knew they were really ready for marriage when sexual attraction and chemistry were there from the start. Plus, 43% said they were able to start thinking about the future as soon as they started being intimate with their lover. Sex is important, and for some relationships, it's very important. If your sex life is on fire, or you find that you're just both incredibly satisfied, it's a good way to tell if you'd make great spouses.

9. You Align on Financial Transparency

There are many things you should discuss before marriage: Money is one of them. "If you and your partner have discussed and agreed upon financial goals and spending habits and are transparent about your own financial situations, then you can consider marriage too," Candib says.

10. Wanting a Long-Term Commitment

How do you know you want to marry someone? For starters, if there's a feeling of long-term commitment—like how 50% of folks said they loved each other early on or 44% moved in together—it's safe to say there is a want for something more.

That more could be marriage. If both partners are genuinely committed to staying together for the long haul—not just during the good times but through challenges as well—then we think that's definitely a good cause for getting hitched. If that's the case you can now ask "How can I prepare for marriage?" instead of if you're ready for it.

What to Avoid When Discussing if You're Ready for Marriage

How do you know if you're ready for marriage? We broke it down above, but the nuts and bolts come down to many thoughtful conversations with your partner. And during these conversations, you want to be present, respectful and open. Here's what to avoid doing during those deep chats:

• Judging your partner: Even if you're frustrated, try and hold back any judgement of your partner based on what they share with you. Marriage is a sensitive topic, but an important one (and an exciting one) to chat through.
• Comparing your relationship to others: Everyone moves at their own speed, and you also never know what goes on in other folks' relationships. Comparison is the thief of joy, and you'll feel so much better focusing on your own connection.
• Holding back your true feelings: Honesty is the best policy, so long as any thoughts or feelings are relayed with care and consideration. You love this person—there's no need to water down what you're thinking.

Additional reporting by Cathryn Haight.