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Updated Jan 21, 2025Do Friends Need to Space Out Their Wedding Dates?
You'll probably have lots of mutual guests, after all.
Picture this: You get engaged, find your dream venue and swiftly set your date for an early fall ceremony—all is right in the world.
That is, until your close friend gets engaged shortly after, and decides on a wedding date that happens to be the weekend before yours. Now you're worried about overlapping showers and parties, guests having to choose one over the other, and possible conflicting travel arrangements. They're in the wrong, right?
By now, you're probably well aware that we're in the midst of the "wedding boom." A record number of couples are set to tie the knot in 2022, and 2023 is projected to be similar. The pandemic created an influx of weddings, with venues and vendors booking up faster than ever before. That, of course, means there might be some scheduling dilemmas among your friend group.
If you're curious to know whether or not friends should space out wedding dates, especially during the busiest season yet, the answer is complicated. In an ideal world, you and your besties wouldn't have to fight for wedding weekends. But, the reality is that it might happen, especially during a record-breaking year. To avoid wedding date drama à la Bride Wars, we've put together this guide on how to seamlessly manage multiple weddings and wedding-related parties within your friend group.
FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT
Think about checking dates with your VIPs before booking.
There will inevitably be some people on your guest list who simply *have* to be at your wedding, like your elementary school BFF, your college roomie, your MOH, or the best man. Before you finalize your wedding date, consider touching base with your VIPs to ensure they'll be able to attend. If, for example, you're weighing back-to-back weekends in May and one of your intended bridesmaids can only attend the first, that information may help you make the decision. Of course, it'll be impossible to confirm that every single guest is free for your wedding—but if you're worried about a select few making it, ask them first to get an idea of what their calendar is looking like before getting in a scheduling conflict.
Know that guest attendance may depend on other events happening close to yours.
If you have a few friends who are also engaged and embarking on the wedding planning process, you might want to ask them about weekends they're eyeing. If save-the-dates for one friend's weddings go out before yours, there's a chance mutual guests may commit to that one first.
Consider allocating weekends to each other.
Perhaps you're assuming that September is supposed to be your month, and then a friend books their date for the weekend after yours. If you find yourself in this situation, remember that your wedding is relegated to one weekend, and so is your friend's. If you are going to be sharing months, try to pick different weekends—that way you both get time to shine.
Touch base before planning prewedding events.
Working out timing for prewedding events like showers and bach parties can get complicated when two friends are getting married close to each other. Communication is key to making sure that no parties overlap. If you want your bachelorette bash to happen over a long weekend, for example, talk to your friend to make sure it won't clash with anything they're planning. Or, let's say the person won't be invited to your prewedding events, but some of your mutual friends will; if that's the case, reach out to those guests directly to ensure they don't have any scheduling conflicts for your parties.
Remember what's important.
Something like a wedding date certainly isn't worth jeopardizing a friendship. Although you might feel bummed that your date is close to another's, try to put things into perspective and remember that your mutual friends likely have lots of weddings this year anyway. (There is a reason it's called the wedding boom, after all). Identical or close wedding dates are bound to happen for some guests, and getting an RSVP that says "No" probably isn't personal. If you can confirm that your VIPs are able to attend, that's what matters most.
Send your save-the-dates early and hope for the best.
Here's the bottom line: Close wedding dates aren't worth fighting over, especially if it involves a close friend. All you can do is plan your dream wedding, send save-the-dates as early as possible (to be safe, shoot for 10 months from your wedding date), share your wedding website, and hope for the best. Those who attend your wedding will be thrilled to celebrate with you and make it an experience to remember. It'll all work out—we promise.
