Why Pregnant Bridesmaids and Moms Are Legit the Best

The bachelorette weekend was exceptionally fun.
Esther Lee - Deputy Editor, The Knot
by
Esther Lee
Esther Lee - Deputy Editor, The Knot
Esther Lee
Deputy Editor
  • Esther is the Deputy Editor of The Knot. She currently leads all content on The Knot Wellness, focusing on financial, relationship, and mental wellbeing.
  • She oversees The Knot's travel vertical (honeymoons, destination weddings, bach parties), as well as overarching features and trends.
  • She proudly serves on the Advisory Council of VOW For Girls, focusing on ending the injustice of child marriage around the world.
Updated May 21, 2019

An editor at The Knot details why she loved being in a wedding party with all moms and pregnant bridesmaids—especially when the time arrived for the bachelorette party weekend.

"Is this 2 percent milk or is it pumped?" I asked as I peered into the fridge. Two shelves alone were stocked with containers filled with what looked like milk. I, on the other hand, was in search of creamer for my much-needed morning coffee after a night of bachelorette party antics.

We were huddled inside a cozy home in the Catskills, celebrating the "last fling" of a childhood friend. There were nine of us: the bride, multiple either nursing moms or pregnant bridesmaids, and me.

The moms had all left their babies at home with their husbands—"He can handle it," one of the girls remarked as she reached for her drink, and most were excited to catch up on much-needed sleep, if only for a few days. As the sole single bridesmaid, I was happy to share stories about my life—regaling the group with tales about happy hours in New York City and catching the bug in Peru. Initially, I didn't know what dynamic would emerge, especially since conversations about sleep training children, though necessary, tend to put me right to bed. But being in a wedding party with nursing moms and pregnant bridesmaids was, by far, the most seamless experience I've had as a bridesmaid several times over. Here's why being in a wedding with moms ruled.

They Were Proactive

It certainly wasn't their first rodeo, so the girls knew exactly how to handle everything from setting expectations up front to finessing budgeting and scheduling requests for the bachelorette weekend. (Editor's Note: We recommend downloading Splitwise for groups sharing expenses. It changes the budgeting game like The Knot budgeting tool.) It truly felt like each bridesmaid held her own, which is oftentimes not the case with these groups.

The girls readily communicated and made themselves available for crafting nights before the bridal shower, pitching useful ideas for the communal gift and whipping up some delightful dishes too. When the time arrived to book larger expenses, putting down cards was not an issue… because, points. Their enthusiastic, can-do attitudes made the experience all the more enjoyable.

The Moms Were Nurturing and Thoughtful

Call it maternal instinct. Many of the girls were accustomed to looking after their husbands and their kids that they were practically on autopilot when it came to making breakfast or putting away dishes. Unlike my wallet-keys-phone mentality, the moms were surprisingly over-prepared for the bachelorette weekend, pulling out a pack of tissues when a baby llama spit on a few of us at an alpaca farm (yes, that happened), all the way to surprising the group with matching sets of slippers that included the saying, "spit happens." That particular bridesmaid had the gift of foresight.

There Was Zero Drama

Maybe it's because most have fought bigger battles at this stage in their lives, but this was a group that truly did not harp on the small things. Their love for the bride was evident through their actions—and their interactions.

Even when we were on top of each other doing our makeup in the bridal suite on the wedding day, I won't forget the collaborative atmosphere: girls offering up their hair spray and helping each other apply fake eyelashes as a steamer spewed in the corner for the next person who needed it. The only exception was the bathroom of the bridal suite, which was a designated pump spot.

The wedding day was anything-but-tiring with the only near-hiccup taking place during the cake-cutting when the coordinator presumed we had the topper. Briefly panicked, we assembled into relay formation, threw off our heels, and sprinted as if we were qualifying for the Olympics.

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The Moms Knew How to Party (Better)

While the assumption is that most moms are relatively low-key given the lack of sleep and their focus on routines (a good thing if you ask me), the reality is that they, too, need a break. And what was considered a break to this group was experiences like enjoying the crisp autumn air in the Hudson Valley and imbibing on the premium food and beverage options at an all-inclusive resort. When it came to partying: the girls still knew how to throw back tequila shots and let loose on the dance floor.

It was that foolproof combination of being fun and far-from-sloppy that made this group the best party mates. They came with the right attitudes, were responsible adults, and walked away with a plethora of new memories.

Everything Was a Learning Opportunity

When life experiences are coupled with quality advice, a fountain of wisdom emerges. The ladies, already good listeners and conversationalists, were conditioned at this point to pose thoughtful questions and share comical stories about their growing families. Many had mastered the power of presence—and the art of empathizing.

Since this entire group had been through the wedding planning process themselves (with the exception of one), the bridesmaids came equipped with all types of advice. They hinted at the issues the bride was likely to face within the first few months of marriage, which was helpfully combined with an artillery of anecdotes and solutions (check out Lasting for more). It was evident that the bride was affirmed and prepped adequately by this crew; Plus, an added bonus was that I had a few takeaways of my own.

They Knew When to Be Emotional

The defining moment of this entire season took place inside the bridal suite moments before the wedding ceremony. The mother of the bride—a loving, single parent of three—prayed for her youngest child, the bride, and as her voice trembled, the entire group wept in a huddle.

It made sense. Most of the bridesmaids were moms themselves, and if not, the remaining few aspired to someday share an intimate moment like this with their future families. After doing life with the bride for decades, this band of former brides, repeat bridesmaids and old friends were accompanying her into the next phase of adulthood, ultimately leaving us to joyously participate in one of her happiest milestones.

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