Couples Want Their Weddings Rooted In Nostalgia—Here's the Reason

Each time I thumb through the wedding albums of my parents and grandparents, I feel a tender tug in my chest. I bet you've felt it too. That's the bittersweet pull of nostalgia, a heady and layered emotion that connects us to our singular and shared pasts. Wedding nostalgia, in particular, is prominent, as milestone events like weddings are already ripe with feeling. They're also sure to be experienced with just as much (if not more) emotional potency in retrospect, when a couple can look back on their nuptials as the beginning of a rich shared life.

Despite the "assured sentimentality," so to speak, that's built into weddings, modern couples continually gravitate toward elements that recall and romanticize bygone eras. These include details like the Lambeth vintage wedding cakes that proliferated from the 1930s through the 1980s; elevated backyard weddings in family homes; first dances to vintage love songs; full-antique bridal trousseaus; and audio guest books in the form of old-school rotary phones. Retro details are trendy, sure, but there's a deeper desire here: to ensure that today's weddings will carry the same emotional weight and significance as those of our parents and grandparents. This guarantee of nostalgia is all the more important in our fast-paced, digital-driven world.

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings

Why Wedding Nostalgia Exists

"Weddings, love and marriage all prompt nostalgia," says Krystine Batcho, a licensed psychologist and a psychology professor at Le Moyne College who specializes in nostalgia research. "Love and commitment involve the paradoxical blend of joy and excitement for an anything-is-possible future and the anxiety that comes with the unknown." She explains that nostalgia permeates all aspects of weddings: The couple expresses nostalgia for every experience that led them to the altar in their vows, and guests feel nostalgic toward their own romantic pasts or perhaps for the childhood of one of the marriers. By leaning into this sense of nostalgia, the couple makes the statement that they expect their relationship to withstand the test of time. "Permanence in relationships is treasured and thought of today as, sadly, too rare, like a natural pearl," says Batcho.

FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings

The Popularity of Nostalgia Wedding Photography and Videography

We all want to preserve the nerves, excitement and splendor of a wedding as much as possible. While photography and videography have always helped produce a tangible record of a celebration, contemporary couples are pushing it a step further. They forgo the previously popular bright-and-clean digital imagery in favor of analog-leaning wedding photography styles and wedding video styles. Think: subtle and delicate 35mm film photography or grainy Super 8 film, which looks like an old-fashioned home movie. These visual mediums tend to prompt nostalgia in the viewer for decades gone by.

"Typically, couples who reach out specifically wanting film are really drawn to the documentary aspect of it—the slowness, the intention in each photograph," says Jess McDole of Jess McDole Weddings, which specializes in analog film photography and Super 8 cinematography. "We're living in this fast-paced world, where content is always available and ever-changing, and couples want to slow their moments down a bit, really feel and experience them, and be able to have images that reflect that."

With only a few frames per roll, film insists on a softness and slowness, which lets the emotion of the moment shine through. "The thing that always shocks me when I look through old wedding photos is how in the moment the photos were," says Mallory Colton. She and her husband, Grant, are the creatives behind Mallory Frances Weddings, which focuses on retro-inspired videography and photography. "These formats take it back to the basics: capturing a wedding day the way it really was."

The unique hues, grain, flash, light leaks and missed-focus moments that unfold naturally on film evoke sentimentality through their visual appeal. But even couples with sleek modern wedding aesthetics—those who wouldn't seem to be moved by retro-inspired paraphernalia—still elect for their weddings to be captured in this way; it feels storied, tangible and in line with the visuals of yesteryear. Both McDole and Colton emphasize that it's not necessarily the optics of film that draws pairs in, but that its embrace of imperfection expresses some truth.

"I think it really does come down to couples being drawn to that feeling of nostalgia," says McDole, who notes that moments captured how they are, without additional curation or interference, better show their true emotion. Couples might select a contemporary aesthetic for their day-of experience, but choose an imagery style that evokes the emotion of the day. McDole continues: "There's a timelessness to images that are told with a more documentary approach, and creating them through analog film adds another layer to that."

Colton also underscores the staying power of film, as well as its power to cultivate connection. "I think when couples see themselves in a Super 8 or VHS video, it ultimately reminds them of someone else first," she says. Her grandparents' wedding video was shot on Super 8. She adds, "Whether it be their parents or an old movie they love, I think couples feel emotional seeing their love story captured in such a way."

Photo: Mallory Frances Weddings

Nostalgic Wedding Photography and Videography Styles

To find a photographer or videographer with a nostalgic style, you'll need the right words to describe the outcome you're looking for, whether it's tastefully blurry wedding photos or shots akin to candid film stills. Take note of these need-to-know tips and terms. Then, take your newfound knowledge over to The Knot Vendor Marketplace to find a photographer and videographer.

• Analog photography: When searching for film photography verbatim, the results might pull digital videographers (these vendors are also branded as film). Swapping the word film with analog will provide more accurate search results.
• Documentary photography: This style captures movement and emotion well, yielding shots that look like movie stills, whether digitally or on film.
• 35mm photography: This style of film imagery brings warmth and depth to your photos as well as a slight texture and grain.
• Super 8: Fuzzy in a way that evokes a sweet home movie, Super 8 film has muted colors and a romantic aesthetic quality.
• 16mm film: This motion picture film offers vivid colors, warm skin tones, texture and a slightly crisper look than Super 8.

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings

The Reason Millennials and Gen Zers Are Drawn to Nostalgic Wedding Ideas

The slow-paced approach of nostalgic photo and video mediums may feel at odds with how fast the modern world moves. Millennials and Gen Zers—the two generations primarily saying "I do" these days—have undergone some especially significant shifts in culture and how we do (and don't) connect with each other. Batcho says that, according to her research, members of these generations experience and display nostalgia in more diverse and public ways. They lean on analog mediums and vintage wedding ideas as they plan their weddings to feel a closer bond with loved ones from earlier eras.

"Millennials and Gen Zers grew up during times of rapid change and witnessed a number of tragic events; it's not surprising that they would be attracted to the notion of a simpler, more ideal time," says Batcho. She cites COVID-19 and the growing loneliness epidemic as driving factors for this increase in nostalgia. "Technology has expanded the ways we interact with others, creating excellent opportunities but also risks and challenges to adapt," she notes. Given how much time they spend in cyberspace, it makes sense that millennials and Gen Zers yearn for life as it was before the advent of modern technology.

Amanda Montell, a New York Times bestselling author and the host of the Sounds Like a Cult podcast, underscores that when the world feels like "an assault on the senses," these generations lean on nostalgia for clarity and to cope. Montell has researched and recorded episodes covering both "the cult of weddings" and "the cult of nostalgia" and is currently engaged herself. She knows that many in her generation nostalgically long for an abstract idea of weddings in the past while planning nuptials in today's heavily consumerist, social-media-driven landscape.

Montell posits that weddings have become more extravagant to appeal visually and impress folks on social media. "That's in contrast with weddings of the past, which were—with the exception of nobility weddings—smaller scale, not as spectacular, a little bit more rigid and maybe rooted in religious practices," says Montell. The simplicity and established structure of these nuptials feels more sincere to some couples, who thus gravitate to tradition. It connects us to the past and hopefully leads us to a secure, enduring union like those of our parents and grandparents. Montell says: "Because the present feels unpredictable and scary, we're not remembering facts from the past. We're romanticizing a fantasy of it to make our future—or in the case of a couple getting married, their future—seem like everything is going to be okay."

Photo: Mallory Frances Weddings

The Core of Why We Want Weddings That Feel Nostalgic: Connection

Ultimately, the through line is connection. Couples getting married in this tumultuous time—when adult milestones like affording children or a home are far more out of reach than in the past—want to crystallize their partnerships as legitimate and in line with the successful couples of yesteryear. We are sentimental for a seemingly simpler time. A time when only those who attended a wedding in person or who flipped through a photo album or viewed a wedding VHS could experience the magic and mayhem of the day. Now we happen upon meaningful milestones like weddings seemingly by accident on our phones as we scroll through an endless bank of others' special moments—mixed with shopping ads and mundane reels.

"We want to be off our phones; we want to be more connected and more present with our loved ones," says Montell. "I find it quite ironic that we're looking for notions of a time before social media."

Colton, age 29, echoes this exasperation: "We had the privilege of growing up without social media, oftentimes having our happiest moments of childhood captured either on film photographs or home videos. Somewhere along the way, we all grew up and got social media and started taking 200 pictures just to get the one to post. I think, subconsciously, we're aching to get back to simplicity."

Nostalgia is powerful and transportive, certainly in a time when the marrying generation feels more uprooted and isolated. Whether it comes in the form of capturing yourself on fuzzy Super 8 film or not, nostalgia emphasizes the realness of your marriage and your position in the culture-spanning tradition of saying "I do." Rest assured: As the world changes, your love and wedding will always be a glimmer of beauty. One that you can tap into at any time for joy and grounding, even if the event itself shimmers and disappears as fast as champagne bubbles.

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings

How to Reflect on Your Wedding Day to Satisfy Your Own Wedding Nostalgia

Much of what we discussed here relates to nostalgia for the weddings and romances of the past. Regardless of how much you lean into classic wedding ideas and aesthetics from decades gone by, you'll definitely experience poignant moments of nostalgia for your own nuptials. Ask yourself (and your partner) the questions below to nail down exactly how you'd like to relive and reflect on your wedding day—a romantic retrospective, if you will.

• Would carving out intentional time throughout your wedding day to record how you feel (writing quick journal entries, recording audio messages together after the recessional, etc.) create meaningful mementos?
• Are physical mementos—like a guest book, bouquet preservation or framed invitation—important to you as you reflect on your day?
• Would you prefer to take in the visuals of your wedding: at your own pace (flipping through a tangible photo album) or in a more immersive way (viewing a video)?

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings

Photo: Jess McDole Weddings