How to Navigate Planning a Wedding Without Your Parents' Help

If you find yourself in the throes of planning your wedding without parents' help, you're far from alone. In fact, most wedding professionals have noticed a stark increase in couples embarking on their wedding planning journeys solo—only involving their parents and other family members when it's time for the actual celebration.

"In years past, weddings were a family affair, where parents were intimately involved in every stage of the planning process," explains Emerald Forcier, owner and CEO of The Intentional Wedding Hub and Penobscot Bay Estate. "We are increasingly finding that parents are involved in wedding planning in fewer ways, and sometimes not at all." That's not to say that family involvement is gone—Forcier points out that it is just no longer the expectation.

Today's couples are more likely to be living together, building careers and making life decisions together long before popping the question. Therefore modern couples are simply less likely to seek their parents' approval of their wedding plans and ambitions. "Many traditions are still alive and well, but with more creativity, such as having both parents walk their child down the aisle or including step-parents and grandparents in dances and speeches," Forcier says. "The primary change we have witnessed is not that parents have vanished, but rather, societal expectations have changed significantly."

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In this article:

• Can You Have a Wedding Without Your Parents?
• How to Plan a Wedding Without Your Parents Help
• How to Word Wedding Invitations Without Parents' Names

Can You Have a Wedding Without Your Parents?

You can absolutely have a wedding without your parents' help or involvement. You may be in a position where you have no choice but to plan without them, or you may opt to exclude them from the planning process. For some couples, financial restraints might limit the extent to which their parents can contribute to their wedding; others may prefer their parents not be involved on the basis of their having differing views on various aspects of the wedding, notes Kristen Gosselin, founder and creative director at KG Weddings & Events.

"Unfortunately, another reason some parents may not be involved in their child's wedding is due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, such as health limitations, geographic distance or the passing of a parent," Gosselin says. "The absence of a parent for any of these reasons can be incredibly difficult during wedding planning, making each decision feel heavier without the support that their parents might have provided."

How to Plan a Wedding Without Your Parents Help

At first, it might feel overwhelming to think of planning a wedding without parents, however, the silver lining is that it's a chance for you and your partner to create a day that's entirely your own. Whether their absence is due to distance, strained relationships or other reasons, here are expert tips for how to plan a wedding and create a memorable celebration that feels authentically yours, even without parental assistance.

1. Set Your Intention for the Celebration

Before you dive into the details of planning, it can pay off to stop and take a moment to reflect. What do you hope to get out of this celebration aside from marrying the love of your life? Forcier advises couples to make sure their decisions stem from their own desires, not from external expectations or traditions. In fact, she notes that setting intention early on can actually help you avoid making costly decisions. "Make sure you both really want to host a wedding and determine if the goal is mainly for the two of you to experience and remember the event, or if you are planning this for friends and family to enjoy," she says. "If one of you is much more enthusiastic about the celebration than the other, there is no better time than now to discuss it."

2. Decide on Your Style and Theme

Ask yourself: What kind of atmosphere do you want to create? Defining how you want your celebration to feel—intimate, joyful, elegant or anything else—will guide your decisions and make it easier to envision the look and specifics that align with that vibe. "Do you want your wedding to feel casual and fun, elegant and grand, large and loud, small and intimate?" asks Forcier. "In twenty year's time, all you will have are photos, videos and a memory of how it felt, so you want that feeling to bring you joy for the rest of your lives."

3. Establish a Reasonable Budget

Especially when you're planning a wedding without the help (financial and physical) of your parents, it's even more important to set a realistic budget that will help you prioritize expenses, make informed decisions and avoid financial stress. Forcier recommends discussing all of your financial goals upfront before deciding how much money you both would feel comfortable investing in your celebration and how to pay for your wedding. "The wedding will be a lot more enjoyable when you can meet your other life goals too," she says. She recommends listing out your major wedding expenses and then ranking them in terms of your value. "Do this separately first, then compare together—for example, one person might value food and drinks, a large venue and a popular DJ at the top, while the other person would like to prioritize attire, florals and photography," she says. "Discussing what matters most to you both, and why you each value it, will prevent arguments over invoices." Consider using The Knot Budget Advisor, a free tool where couples can learn about wedding costs in their marrying location.

4. Lean on Wedding Pros

While you might be tempted to skip over hiring certain wedding professionals to save on costs (especially if you're not asking your parents for wedding money), this is not the time to do so. In fact, planning a wedding day without parents is all the more reason to lean on the pros. "Reach out to wedding planners early on to see how they can support you in the process! If full wedding planning isn't in your budget, call to inquire about partial planning or event coordination services. You may be surprised by how kind, helpful and accessible wedding professionals are!"

5. Find Ways to Still Honor Your Parents

If it is important to a parent to be involved in the rituals of the wedding day, such as walking a child down the aisle or participating in a dance and the couple is comfortable or at least neutral about it, Laura Brezel, president and planner at O Frabjous Day Events, usually recommends finding a way to still include them. "For instance, you might not want to have a welcome toast from your parents, but instead might include them in another way, such as presenting rings," she says. "If a couple is uncomfortable with one of those traditions, such as dancing with a parent after their first dance with their new spouse, we simply cut that tradition and do something else that fits the couple's style and wishes."

If your parents are not attending, whether they've passed away or you have a poor or strained relationship, you might be wondering: Who walks you down the aisle if you don't have parents? In this situation, Brezel notes that some couples choose to walk down alone or select another loved one to walk them down the aisle. Having divorced parents also brings a different dynamic to your planning process, including how they're involved (or not).

How to Word Wedding Invitations Without Parents' Names

It's perfectly fine to not include parents' names on your wedding invitation if they're not involved financially in throwing your wedding. Here, experts share tips for how to word your invitations elegantly without a mention of your parents.

If the couple is hosting, the wording of the invitation shifts to focus on them as the ones extending the invitation explains Brezel. Instead of the traditional phrasing, she recommends the following:

The honor of your presence is requested by Dr. and Mrs. Van Pelt at the marriage of their daughter Lucille to Mr. Schroeder Felton

A more modern and inclusive approach might read:

The pleasure of your company is requested by Patricia Reichardt and Marcie Carlin at their wedding on [insert date]

This approach also works for casual weddings. Playful wedding invitation wording without parents might say:

Sally and Linus are getting hitched! Are you in?

Whether the tone is formal or fun, the couple has the flexibility to craft an invitation that conveys the vibe of their celebration while informing guests of what to expect.

Ultimately, the wording should reflect the couple's relationship, their plans for the wedding and the feeling they want to share with their guests. By personalizing the invitation, the couple sets the stage for their special day while honoring their journey together, Brezel notes.