Do You Think These Wedding Traditions Are Outdated?

This study says these old-school etiquette rules might be on their way out.
sophie ross the knot bridal fashion and beauty expert
by Sophie Ross
sophie ross the knot bridal fashion and beauty expert
Sophie Ross
Bridal Fashion and Beauty Expert
  • Sophie Ross is a Senior Copywriter at Adore Me.
  • Sophie is an experienced style and beauty writer.
  • Sophie worked as an Associate Editor for The Knot from 2017 to 2019.
We have included third party products to help you navigate and enjoy life’s biggest moments. Purchases made through links on this page may earn us a commission.

Don't get us wrong—we definitely appreciate a myriad of old-school wedding traditions, like sending snail-mail invitations and thank-you notes (always). But some of the customs previous generations loved haven't really aged or translated as well to current to-be-weds. Need proof? Jewelry brand Brilliant Earth conducted a study to find out which wedding rules are made to be broken. See if you agree with the results.

Your ring has to be a diamond.

The study found that 50 percent of respondents don't think an engagement ring needs to be a diamond. We happen to agree with this one—while some prefer gorgeous colored gemstones instead, others prefer simple bands or believe diamond stimulants work just fine as an alternative.

You have to at least have a ring.

Again, nope! While 58 percent of respondents did think a proposal needs to come with a ring, a whopping 42 percent didn't seem to think so. Thirty percent said you don't need a ring at all, while 12 percent said it's totally normal to simply pick out a ring together as a couple, post-proposal. Interestingly though, regional stereotypes might hold true. Overall, the study found that those in the South were 10 to 25 percent more likely than other regions to say there needs to be a ring.

The bride's parents usually pay for the wedding.

This one definitely hasn't aged well. In fact, nearly half (48 percent) of respondents said they've paid for or will pay for their own wedding when they get married.

You have to invite someone to be in your wedding party if they included you in theirs.

If you were a bridesmaid for a girlfriend years ago, you might think it's compulsory to include her in your wedding party too (even if you've grown apart). And while it's a nice gesture, it's certainly not required. Just ask the 80 percent of respondents who said it's not a must—54 percent agreed there aren't rules when it comes to that, and 26 percent said it depends on the situation.

You can post a picture of the wedding whenever you want.

In the age of social media, it can get confusing. But make no mistake: You probably shouldn't post a picture of the couple on Instagram until they've posted one themselves, unless you've received concrete permission from them that you can do so. Sixty-eight percent of respondents agreed you shouldn't post in real time, unless it's a picture of the wedding that doesn't include the couple in it—in which case, 24 percent of respondents felt this is okay.

There's a prescribed amount people should spend on wedding gifts.

While most of the female respondents thought $50 is an appropriate amount to spend on a wedding gift, men were more likely (1.3 times, to be exact) to say $200 is acceptable. Additionally, those in the Northeast were three times more likely than any other region to opt to spend $200 or more. Midwestern and Southern respondents were most likely to opt for $50 gifts.

Up Next
  • Couple in traditional Japanese wedding attire
    13 Japanese Wedding Traditions You Should Know