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Updated Dec 12, 202418 of the Most Common Indian Wedding Traditions, According to Experts
Consider putting some of these customs on your to-do list.
An Indian wedding is steeped in rich traditions packed with sentimental meaning. But since these types of weddings are multiday events, chances are you and your partner have some questions about what's in store and are wondering if there's any etiquette you're expected to adhere to. To help you better understand Indian weddings, which have some of the most unique wedding traditions from around the world, we connected with top-notch planners to get the scoop. You'll learn about everything about Indian marriage traditions, from fun prewedding affairs to what food is usually served at the reception, to inspire your cultural celebration.
After you've looked at the expert advice below, go to The Knot Vendor Marketplace where you can find vendors to guide you through all of the logistics. Since Indian weddings have intricate customs, we suggest reaching out to a wedding planner and officiant ASAP.
Indian wedding traditions in this story: History | Prewedding | Ceremony | Reception | Food & Desserts | Postwedding
A Brief History of Indian Wedding Traditions
These significant traditions originate from a country with 28 states, 8 union territories and at least 7 recognized religions, which means Indian weddings are more than what meets the eye. "The term 'Indian wedding' is often used as a one-size-fits-all label, but that's not accurate. India and the Indian subcontinent is home to multiple religions, languages, regions, castes and communities. Each has their own wedding customs and some are specific to one's family," explains Neha Joshi, wedding planner and founder of Ask Neha Now.
For example, vibrant red is a favorable color at many Indian weddings, especially at Hindu celebrations, but how the hue is incorporated will differ. "As a wedding planner, I have never had one wedding where all the traditions were the exact same. The religious ceremonies remain sacred, and when performed by the priests, stay consistent. On the other hand, the cultural traditions change over time and evolve from family to family," says Nirali Shah, founder of Nirali Shah Events with over 14 years of event planning experience.
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Prewedding Indian Traditions
Indian weddings don't start and end within 24 hours. As we've said before, these are events that are spread out over multiple days. Keep reading to see some of the traditional Indian wedding customs often performed before the ceremony and reception.
Pre-Engagement Ceremony
Before all of the big festivities can begin, there's typically a Roka ceremony to initiate the wedding preparations for the couple. This proposal tradition usually happens at a family member's home, and signifies that the couple is fully committed to one another and wants to get married. The to-be-wed's closest family members apply tilak (Sankrit for "special mark") to their foreheads. Next, gifts such as sweets, clothes, fruit and more are exchanged to show approval for the union and strengthen the bond between the two families.
Auspicious Wedding Date and Time
The next step is for the couple to work with a religious authority to determine an auspicious date and time or lucky wedding date for the wedding ceremony to take place. This custom can involve using astrology, and is the foundation to creating a positive omen around the marriage.
Large Guest Lists
It's very common for Indian weddings to be large events with at least 100 guests in attendance. Since it's a momentous occasion that brings everyone together, there's usually a big turnout. This means, beyond the immediate family and wedding party, extended family members, friends, coworkers, friends of the couple's parents and many others are sent invitations for the event.
Sangeet or Dholki
Meaning "as sung together," a Sangeet is a fun party that "brings all the guests together for a prewedding celebration. It's often the Friday night before a Saturday wedding. A Sangeet is focused on music, singing, dancing, skits and celebration," says Joshi, who has specialized in South Asian and multicultural weddings since 2014. The music and dances for this nonreligious event vary depending on what area of India the couple and their families are from, but it always at least includes choreographed musical numbers from the wedding party and to-be-weds. Fun fact: The Sangeet is mostly popular with North Indian communities, and Punjabis call a similar event, Dholki.
Mehndi
The Mehndi ceremony "is a celebration where, traditionally, the bride and her female family members have their hands and feet adorned with intricate wedding henna designs. This vibrant event is filled with music, dancing and joyful anticipation leading up to the wedding," says Chandni Mistry, founder of Pearls Event & Co. and six-time winner of The Knot Best of Weddings award. Also spelled mehendi for Jain weddings, the affair has been modernized to be a joint event where the entire family is invited.
For those wondering why you might see brides already adorned at the beginning of the party, Joshi explains how it works. "Since bridal henna application is on both sides of the hands and the tops of the feet, it takes five or more hours to apply, with removal taking time as well. By doing the bridal henna privately on a separate day, this frees the bride to enjoy the henna event with her guests," she says.
Haldi
"Another prewedding tradition is called Haldi. This is a joyful ceremony where turmeric paste is applied to the couple, symbolizing purification, blessings and the start of the wedding festivities. Friends and family usually dress in yellow and orange hues," Mistry says. The tradition has many names among the diverse Indian community, such as Mandvo, Bana Betai, Vatna, Pithi, Pelli Kuthuru or Gaya Halud. "Turmeric is meant to cleanse and beautify the skin and body, inside and out. For those with lighter skin tones, the turmeric may dye the skin yellow, so beware," Joshi adds.
Indian Wedding Ceremony Traditions
Let's dive deeper into Indian wedding planning by discussing the ceremony traditions involved. Below are rituals you'll most likely see at other Indian celebrations.
Groom's Procession
One of the most unique wedding cultural entrances is the groom's procession into the Indian wedding ceremony. Some communities call this custom the Baraat or Ghodi. "For Indian weddings in the US, this is often the first event of the day. The groom arrives in style, traditionally on a horse or elephant, but today's grooms often opt for a fancy car like a Lamborghini or Porsche," says Joshi. It's tradition for the groom and his entourage to process towards the entrance of the ceremony while their partner and the partner's family awaits their arrival. Nowadays, many couples open this event to all guests and have a wedding DJ or live band play music to hype up the crowd.
If you plan on going above and beyond with your procession transport, confirm with your Indian wedding venue that your desired vehicle is allowed on the property. Yes, that means you have to ensure the elephant is approved before booking it.
Bridal Entrance
The bride is often joined by her bridal party while walking down the aisle. Depending on the religion and culture, the bride is escorted by her male relatives underneath a sheet decorated with flowers, which represents the bride leaving the protection of her family, or she's carried by them in a palanquin.
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Mandap
One of the most beautiful Indian wedding decorations, a mandap or mada mandap is a structure with four posts, and is considered the holy space during the ceremony. No shoes can be worn underneath the mandap. The mandap's four pillars are said to represent many things such as the couple's parents, the four elements, the four stages of life and much more. Couples usually decorate this structure with an abundance of flowers.
Unity Ceremonies
There are numerous unity ceremonies that involve wedding blessings throughout, one of them being the garland exchange. The structure of the garland depends on the couple, but Mistry says the moment is "a gesture of acceptance and mutual respect. This act marks the beginning of their union and symbolizes a willingness to welcome one another into their lives." This tradition has many names, but in Bengali weddings it's called Mala Badal. Another custom is the Hasta Melap, which is spelled several ways, "the garments of the couple are tied together, symbolizing the eternal bond they share. This marks them as partners through life's journey, and binds them by love and commitment; not only in this life but also in their many lives to come," says Shah.
Ritual Fire
It's common for a sacred fire or Agni to be involved in the ceremony. In Hinduism, Shah says the couple must walk around the fire seven times in the Saptapadi ceremony. In comparison, Gujarati couples walk around the fire four times. Depending on the culture, each step around the fire represents a different prayer.
Wedding Ceremony Games
There are lots of playful games played throughout the ceremony to keep an upbeat mood and help the to-be-weds get to know each other better. Joota chupai isn't only a Hindu wedding tradition since it's practiced among many North Indian communities. The custom involves the groom's shoes being stolen by his partner's family and having to pay them (in money or gifts) to get them back. Another wedding ceremony Indian game is thengai uruturathu. Couples must sit opposite of one another, at least 8 or 10 feet apart, and roll their respective coconut at their partner's to get it to crack within three attempts. If accomplished, the cracked coconut is said to be a sign of good luck. Seen at Tamil weddings, there's a game where the couple must look for their wedding rings in a pot of colored water and other metal items. It's suggested that whoever finds the rings first is who'll make all the decisions in the relationship.
Couple's Attire
Since there are multiple events leading up to, during and after the wedding, it's typical for the couple to wear numerous vibrant and elaborate outfits and lots of gold Indian wedding jewelry. Shah breaks down what the attire usually looks like for North and South Indian weddings since the styles vary because of region, religion and personal preference. "In South Indian weddings, the bride traditionally wears a sari—an elegant, six-yard drape. The groom typically wears a veshti or dhoti, a long piece of cloth wrapped around the waist and legs, symbolizing simplicity and spiritual devotion. A North Indian bride often wears a lehenga, a heavily embellished skirt paired with a blouse and a dupatta draped over her head. The groom usually dons a sherwani, a formal embroidered coat over a kurta and churidar pants. Grooms may also wear a turban, especially in Sikh weddings, where it holds religious significance," she says. For the bride, red is the traditional color, but many modern brides wear different colors to match their wedding color scheme.
Guest Attire
"Indian wedding guest attire is an experience in itself. With multiple events across several days, guests often wear a wide range of colorful, festive outfits. Designers now even create collections specifically for destination or beach weddings, highlighting the evolving nature of South Asian fashion while maintaining its traditional flair," says Shah. It's appropriate for the wedding guests to wear similar attire as the couple. Many formal attire rental websites have Indian formal wear, such as saris, that you can borrow. If you're unable to procure traditional Indian garb, formal Western attire, like a suit or cocktail dress, would also be acceptable.
Indian Wedding Reception Traditions
These receptions are some of the most lively events and often go into the late hours of the night. Learn what generally goes down at an Indian wedding reception.
Western-Style Receptions
Shah and Mistry agree that modern couples of Indian heritage choose to have Western-style receptions—and that doesn't mean cowboy hats and horseshoe wedding favors. In reality, the reception includes a father-daughter dance, cake-cutting ceremony, wedding party speeches, and more.
Lots of Dancing
There's tons of dancing throughout Indian weddings, which is one of the main reasons you need to have a professional Indian wedding photographer who can capture it all. Bollywood-style dances, serenades and the bhangra are some of the most popular things you'll see at Indian weddings. We suggest having plenty of modern mashups, classics and more on your Indian wedding song playlist to keep the energy high and guests moving on the dance floor.
Traditional Indian Wedding Food and Desserts
Indian celebrations place great importance on wedding food traditions and keeping guests fed. Below is what you can expect at just about any Indian affair.
Tasty Feasts
"An Indian wedding isn't complete without an authentic Indian meal and generous hospitality. Different regions have different dishes traditionally served at a wedding. However, one thing is the same—the food must be good, and it must be generously available. A shortage of food is seen as a disaster and poor hosting," says Joshi. Just like the traditions above, the cuisine differs based on what part of India the couple's family is from. "For example, a South Indian wedding traditionally serves banti bhojanam, which is a vegetarian meal served entirely on a banana leaf and is meant to be eaten with your hands. A North Indian wedding will have many dishes made with wheat or flour, tandoori-style cooking, paneer, and will incorporate more meat, but less fish," says Shah.
Indian Postwedding Traditions
Just because you're married doesn't mean the traditions are done. Keep reading to see what final customs are on the horizon.
Bride's Formal Farewell
Numerous Indian communities have some sort of emotional farewell ceremony for the bride since, traditionally, this is when she moves out of her family home and into her marital home. Shah discusses two versions of this custom. The Vidaai is when "the bride is accompanied by her parents and family, which lead her outside the doorstep of the home or mandap. Before crossing the doorstep, the bride throws back three handfuls of rice over her head, into the house. This symbolizes that the bride is repaying her parents for all that they have given her so far. Then, she's given to her partner by her parents to be taken away to her new home," she says. The Rukhsati is also a bridal send-off for Islamic weddings. "It can be done as a separate event after the ceremony in conjunction with the reception. It's up to the families if they would like to keep it more intimate or make it a large, public event," she adds.
