Bridesmaids: How Do I Ask Out-of-Town Friends?


How can I ask my friends to be bridesmaids when they're scattered all over the country? Would it be appropriate to send a short note, or is it better to call each one? And what would be my gracious response if any of them has to say no?


You have several options, of course, but since you probably don't get to see or talk to these friends very often, you might want to take the opportunity to call 'em up and pop the question! They'll undoubtedly be thrilled to hear from you. If you're more comfortable writing letters, though, then go right ahead. We love cute, homemade “will you be my bridesmaid" cards. And if you're worried that one or more of them may have to decline your invitation, this could be the way to go. It's kinder to them, too -- they can respond when they've carefully considered your offer rather than feeling pressured to say "I'd love to!" over the phone.

If someone does bow out (usually it's because they feel they can't afford it), don't take it personally. Just say you understand ('cause of course you do, right?) and that you're disappointed but you're glad that the person was able to be open with you about it. If you love her to death and want her with you on your wedding day, perhaps it doesn't matter whether she's at the shower or if she helps you address the invites as long as she's there with you at the wedding!

Up Next
11 Delivery Services to Help Propose to Your Bridesmaids
A little snail mail surprise for your bridesmaids, and an easy way to cross something off your wedding to-do list. It's a win-win.
by The Knot5 min read